“ So tell me more about yourself?” I ask Bella, my date, as we sit across from each other at Oaks restaurant.
“Seriously? We chatted for about 6 months before we agreed to meet, What else do I need to tell you that you do not already know ?” She said softly and resumed, taking pictures with her iPhone.
I stared at the pretty girl, sitting opposite to me. She is definitely my type. I never thought that i would meet my ideal woman until Sunny, my best friend and flatmate, told me to open a Tinder account and try my luck. I did as advised, and the first profile that caught my eye was that of Brlla. I could swear that I had never seen someone as pretty as her. After stalking her page for so long, i sent a hello.
Three days later, a message from her came in. Anxious and excited, we got talking. It was the smoothest i had gone with any girl.
Eventually, we moved from Tinder to whatsapp. All was going well. The discussion, her views, her laughter, sense of humor, her goals. We had the best chemistry. We had so much in common, and I was so glad that I finally found the one for me. Aside from her supporing the Arsenal against the Liverpool football club, I was convinced that we were a match made in heaven.
And now there, the two of us finally came face to face for our first date. I was elated.
I beckoned to the waiter.
“Please,bring me a plate of Jollof rice, two pieces of chicken, and a glass of orange juice. What would you order?" i raised my chin slightly to Bella.
“Bring me chicken pepper soup, a plate of jollof rice with coleslaw on theside, three pieces of chicken, and a bottle of smirnoff ice.That will be all for now” She said and dismissed the waiter.
“Okay, ma. Coming up soon," the waiter said curtly, gave a slight bow, and walked off.
I was surprised by her order , but i did not complain . Good for me, i came loaded.
“How is business? I can remember you told me that you are a tailor," I was making small talk.
“Not fine .My sewing machine got spoilt, and I am trying to get another one”
I pretended not to hear what she said cause I suspect where that is going.
“Ma, Sir, here is your order “Two waiters dropped the food on the table. I was happy they came at that moment.
“Thank you “She muttered. Then she asks, "What desserts do you people serve here? "
“We have chocolate cupcakes..." The waiter had started to say, but she cut in.
“Bring me four chocolate cupcakes."
I shifted slightly on my chair “Babe, isn’t that much?" I asked.
“No dear,I have a sweet tooth. And, babe? We have not even started dating yet," she grinned.
I was sweating profusely where I sat. I began to think that maybe this was not the woman I had been talking with all the while. She could not have been the woman who said she would not have been eating at all if food wasn't necessary for survival.
“Do everything she says” I tell the waiter who is already looking impatient.
We ate in silence, and i watched as she devoured the food.
“Are you satisfied?” I asked after she finished the last grain of rice on her plate and still had some look of expectancy on her face. Plus, I assumed it was gentlemanly to ask.
“Can I have one more bottle of Smirnoff?” She asked, pouting.
“But , but you only just finished a bottle of…” She cut in.
“I am expensive. I like to enjoy myself. I don't go out to fancy places often and whenever i do, i like to make maximize the time," she laughed and maybe noticing that i wasn't, she added quivkly, "besides, you asked for this date, it's only proper that you indulge all my needs."
I looked at the woman sitting across from me. I was surprised by this side of her, but i was ready to do anything. Anything to keep her. I beckoned at the waiter and told him to bring a bottle of Smirnoff. We both began to trade tales, and while at it, i began to visualize myself going to meet Bella's family, planning the introduction, settling down with her, and living happily ever after. Well, those thoughts were soon disrupted when the bill was served.
“Is this the bill?” i asked, hyperventilating from the figure i was seeing on the paper in my hands. It was more than i expected.
I wanted to call my best friend who instant and yell at him for advising me to join Tinder.
“Yes “The waiter replied.
I gestured to the waiter to excuse me. As he was about to leave, Bella called him back and said, "can i get three takeway packs of jollof rice and chicken," turning to me with a sweet smile, she says, "they're for my friends."
In hushed tone and feigned laughter, I say, "uhm, I'm not sure about that. The bill is already a lot."
To my surprise and embarrassment, her voice goes up in anger, "it's not in my place to worry about that. You brought me here. You'll have to find a way around the bill, but I have to take back packs for my friends."
I nodded hurriedly, looking around to make sure no one had heard her.
In that moment, she didn't look or sound like the sweet, understanding girl i had been talking to for a while. In that place, i saw a gold digging, hungry woman.
“Give her what she wants," I said to the waiter.
“Ok ,sir” the waiter replied, disappointed that i would not be washing plates for a month, I could quite guess from his facial reaction.
I managed to sort the bill from the money i had been saving up for months to get a new pc. I felt sunken. Worse than that, I felt depressed that the girl I thought was my perfect match was not living up to that.
We would barely make it through the rest minutes of the date. I walked Bella to the bus stop, where she would board a bus to take her home. And when she says that she enjoyed herself and thinks we should arrange for another date, I would only make a sound in my throat cause I knew that that was the last time we would ever hang out.
Immediately the bus she boarded zooms off, I whip out my phone, block her on whatsapp , and block her number. Then, I deleted the Tinder app.
I hope you found this interesting. Thank you for reading.
