My tailor won't make heaven

A day before the wedding event of a friend that I was invited to be among the groomsmen, I put a call to my tailor to find out if he was through with the suit I was to wear on the day of wedding and he gave me the biggest shock of my life.
"What do you mean you can't make it, didn't I inform you I'm going to use it for a function?" I was on call but my voice was loud with echoes hitting the roof and my legs keeping the table close to me very hard.

"Mr Kingsley, I'm so sorry, just like I briefed you the other day, sickness seized me and even till now, there's no..."

I didn't allow him to finish, I hung the call. On the spot, I stood thinking about my life like someone whose goods had been swallowed by a big ocean. There was no way I was going to get those clothes because his voice sounded sicky just as he informed me earlier and the worst part was that, we were not at the same town that I could take a bike and go and rain threats and shouts on him.

At that moment, the only option left for me was to look out for anybody I could borrow the particular suit(trousers and jacket) from and that was a lifestyle I wasn't into. After scanning the list of people I knew, I settled to meet a church friend, Gozie who had the same body shape as me. I put a call to him and asked him if he could borrow his suit to me to use for a wedding function and he didn't hesitate, he told me to come over to take it.

I was a bit relieved, I took a bike, got there in a jiffy and he brought out the jacket without the trouser.

"Do you have a black trouser to match it because it seems I forgot the exact trouser at home when I travelled?" He asked while flipping clothes in his wardrobe.

I picked it up and took it outside the room to examine it properly with the sunlight to know if the black colour matches with the one I have at home.

"They don't match but I will manage. Half bread if better than none"

"God will punish that my tailor"
I thanked him and released another curse on my tailor before leaving his house which he laughed upon hearing that.

I got home and brought out my black trouser to match it with the jacket I got from Gozie but no, my black trouser's colour was too blackish for the jacket.

"Where do I see a matching trouser now?" I sat down and began to ponder then a thought flashed in, to call my junior brother at home if he had a black trouser. I did and miraculously, he said he has and not had been using it since he's no longer functioning in the choir thing he was into.
My mind was relieved, I didn't think again, even though there was a possibility of the trouser not matching what I had. I just wanted my mind to rest.

Early morning the wedding day which was on Saturday, I embarked on the journey from my base to my hometown where the wedding was to happen. I got home around 9:00 am and even when my siblings were jubilating to see me, all my mind was after was to see the trouser and hope it matched with the jacket.

"Christian, where is the trouser? Please bring it" I called out for my brother as soon as I landed in my room.

"It's on top of the door, check the door" Christian who was engrossed with his video game in the parlour replied with a loud voice from the parlour.
I looked out and saw the trouser, neatly kept, I took it out, placed it very close to the jacket and hey, they matched perfectly in colour and my mind elevated with joy and what came out of my mouth again was a direct curse to my disappointing tailor "to hell with this tailor".

I was almost running late, so I began to dress up in fast mode, I wore my inner white sleeve first, and when I wore the trouser, I saw it bigger than my legs, it was fatter and longer than me.

"Christian!!! Is this your trouser or dad's trouser?" I asked aloud from the room. Christian is my junior brother and not in any way bigger than me.

Finally, he rushed in and as soon as he met me struggling to adjust the trouser and how oversized it appeared on me, he laughed out loud and asked amid laughter "Why is it bigger than you?"

"This is your trouser? How have you been wearing this?" I was turning my neck down on 360 degrees looking at myself.

"It is my trouser and..."

"Don't worry go." I cut him off and began to see if I could adjust the positioning of the trouser to cover some part of the oversize but no way and there was no way I could go take it to amend it in a tailor's shop because it is not mine.

I just summoned courage and wore it like that and moved for the event.

Getting to the wedding scene, I composed myself very well, walking in a big boys' style in order not to appear like a fish out of water. I couldn't look down to the trouser side, my eyes were placed at a horizontal level.

"Hey! Kayceee man! Long time no see!" All the other guys in the team of groomsmen saw me and it was shouts and jubilations. I know they didn't see my oversized trouser or maybe they saw it and took it as my style which I was enjoying but the worst part came when the bride's ladies walked it, jeez! My earlier form of composure disappeared out of me. These ladies weren't the type I was expecting to meet, they were ladies from the University the bride was schooling and I was expecting to see some village girls as bridesmaids.

I had to stylishly walk sideways to have my seat and luckily all through the church wedding, we were only called out once to stand up to dance which I made sure the ladies were at the front while the guys were at the back.

Church wedding ended and we transformed to the white native attire where I finally became as free as a bird.


All photos are mine

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