Two Truths, One Lie...


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I Have Almost Been Arrested
Not my proudest experience, but hey, you need to make mistakes in order to learn, right?! 😅😭

So my older sister was getting divorced at the time, and she needed a witness to go down to the courthouse to sign the papers. She decided to ask me to bear witness, and we agreed to meet at our dad's place a few hours before her hearing. Now, this would be a few hours before my work shift, and I was quite the toker back then, so I brought some Devil's lettuce (and all of the supplies to smoke it) with me. I also did not feel like leaving the supplies at my dad's, waiting God knew how long to get it back, so I put it in my bag and brought it with me--down to the courthouse! 😅

Not only had my frontal lobe not fully developed yet, but I was also completely unfamiliar with courthouses... and did not know that you immediately got searched upon arrival! 😬 So, there was the security guard with my 3gs, grinder, and pipe on the table in front of him...

They ended up detaining me, sitting with me in a room while we waited for the police to arrive. Honestly, the only thing I was worried about in that moment was being late for work, despite being told, "You may not be going to work... You may be going to jail ."

Anyway, the cop showed up, gave me a ticket for "trespassing," I signed my sister's divorce papers, and made it to work on time!~ 😀🎉


I Have Gotten Into A Street Fight
My hometown is a rather large city, boasting a population of more than half a million people. As such, it isn't unusual to run into an array of people on just a 5 minute stroll, and it definitely isn't unusual for some of them to make a comment. However, the comment this woman had for me one day tipped me over the edge...

I was working downtown, on break, getting a drink at the nearby coffeeshop. I had literally just walked out of the shop, took one step out onto the street, when I heard her say, "Short enough skirt; you wearing underwear under that?" A woman, about my age, making the underhanded comment about me to her boyfriend--she couldn't even say it to me!

I had no idea where the resentment came from; it was a perfectly appropriate knee-length skirt? But I happily retorted back, "You're more than welcome to check~"

She had already walked past, but whipped her head back, came to a halt, and yelled, "No thanks. I don't need STDs."

My dumbass: "I do not think you need my help for that..."

She stormed back over with her boyfriend trying to call her back, got close enough for me to smell her ashy breath, raised a hand in vain before boyfriend finally pulled her away, kicking and swearing down the street...

Anyway, I finally got to take a sip of my drink after that (and it was very nice! 😄)


I Have Skinny Dipped
Sort of?...

As a child, my family and I attended these campgrounds every year. It was one of those places that provided pitching up a tent, but also had amenities like showers, a tennis court, etc. One of them was a swimming pool.

My sister and I loved swimming; however, by the time we arrived at the pool, we realized we didn't have our bathing suits with us... But, my sister offered me an alternative that I had never known was an option: "Why don't you take off your shirt and go in just your shorts? Like a guy?" And 6 year old me naively exclaimed, "What? You can just do that?! 😱"

At the time, there were only two boys about our age at the pool, and even though I found it strange that my sister suddenly wouldn't join me, I tore off my shirt and jumped into the water!

It didn't take long for our 77 year old grandmother to find us and scream bloody murder at me--I did not get to swim for long! 😅


EDIT: now that the contest is over, I wanted to reveal that #2, the street fight, was the lie! 😅 The woman made the comment, but I never got into an altercation with her.

Thank you so much to everyone who commented and interacted! 🙏

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