Just two months after I got home from Manila, I was invited to a graduation party by a high school friend. At first, I was hesitant to go since I haven’t been in touch with them for four years and there were some events during high school that made me distance myself from them. One of the reasons was being the depressed kid that I was with some other undiagnosed mental problems, then add immaturity to that which they didn't understand about me. My high school life was jam packed with life problems. Also, there were some instances that made me feel like I don’t belong in our group, like a misfit.
One time, I was invited to the 18th birthday party of one of our friends. I had just recovered from a fever and just got back to school after three days that day but her birthday party would be held tomorrow. It made me decline the invitation. Then, her mother came to school to distribute the other invitation cards and came up to me after that.
“Why wouldn’t you come?” She asked me with that evident curiosity in her eyes. The whole class was invited, all of our teachers as well, and the principal. I got that why she was very curious because I was the only one who wouldn’t come to her daughter's party.
“I’m not yet that okay from the fever, and my Aunt didn’t give me permission because of that.” At least, that was what I told her but that wasn’t all of the reasons I had. There was also the dress code which was the formal dress, the venue was in a famous hotel, and the time was evening. I know it would be a big problem for my Aunt considering that we don’t have much at that time. To spare my ears from hearing any complaints from my Aunt, I declined even before I could mention any word about it to her.
The next day at the class, my friend ignored me and she was entertaining those classmates who she never spoke to before but attended her party, then they talked about what happened at her party all day. On the next following days, she still ignored me. I let it be because I thought she might have some hard feelings on me for not attending.
Things changed after that. They were going out often and I wasn't invited. I can still hang out with them during classes but it seems that my presence wasn't felt in the group. As months passed by with the same situation, I gradually distance myself. Yet, there are others who didn’t change until now, but they were just busy with their lives.
One of them was the one who invited me to that graduation party and the other one asked me to meet her up at the mall. As I have mentioned earlier, I was too hesitant to go and too anxious of their reactions if ever they saw me again. Will they still remember me? Will they even talk to me? I also have that fear in me that they might ignore me in the venue and it will be too awkward for me to be there.
When I arrived at the meeting place, I couldn't understand if my heart was beating fast due to the strong coffee I had before leaving home or was it because I was nervous to finally meet them again. The moment we saw each other, we all looked shocked, as if we were seeing a ghost. Then, each of them rushed towards me and hugged me tightly saying, "Glad to see you are finally back and hanging out with us again."
They were shaking my hand tightly and I could feel that they had missed me that much. I never expected that kind of gesture from them. I actually expected an awkward exchanges of “hi and hello” from them, yet it was the other way around. There was a following meetup with the others after and we had a good talk about the past. On why I acted like that, as well they were towards me, and what happened to me after high school graduation since we didn’t have any communication for four years.
It was safe to say that we just let bygones be bygones, then blame our young minds and immaturity to handle what we can’t understand back then, which leads to some painful memories. All is well right now since we already know how to understand those things and how to treat each other well. I have realized that I might have some part in that mistake in the past also. If only I had been vocal about what I felt and reached out to them, maybe they could have understood me, or maybe not. Anyways, it doesn’t matter anymore since we were all good now.