I sat on the couch listening to my niece as she rambled on and on about her dilemma as she so put it. She was supposed to perform on stage, in front of thousands of people in our church, as the lead soloist. She couldn't stop talking about how she couldn't do it. Frightened wasn't even the word to describe the fear I saw in her face as she spoke.
"Aunty ChiChi, you have to help me" She begged me profusely.
" But I've heard you sing, you have a great voice" I countered.
" Yes, I know I do, but I have never sung on stage before in front of thousands of people. I just can't do it." she said, feeling defeated.
" Why? " I asked her even though I knew the reason.
"I have stage fright. I don't want to end up embarrassing myself on stage. Besides, I have no experience of how to act on stage. I only know how to sing, not how to perform on stage". She answered.
I looked up at her and smiled, remembering my first time on stage.
"Aunty, why are you smiling?" She asked, slightly offended.
"I'm in a serious situation here, and you are here smiling" she said.
At that, I laughed out loud even
"My dear, let me tell you a story"I said, looking at my younger niece.
I just remembered my first time on stage dear. I can understand your plight. In fact, I've been in this similar situation as you are in now. It was in the year 2015. I could never forget. I was supposed to sing on stage for the very first time in my life. I was so terrified. The thought of standing in front of thousands of people who were eagerly waiting to either judge or criticize me made my stomach twist in knots. I had just joined the music department newly, and I wasn't used to singing in front of people. So the situation for me was just terrible.
As I stood on stage that faithful day, my heart raced with terror. I looked up to see a sea of expectant faces eagerly staring and waiting for me to perform. The quietness and stillness of the congregation did nothing to help the erratic beating of my heart. I needed to feel calm, at ease with myself or else I was going to embarrass myself in front of the crowd, and I didn't want that. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and imagined myself as I usually do in my day-dreams, singing with confidence like a celebrity in front of millions of people. And with that thought in mind and my eyes still closed, I began singing.
At first, my voice quivered as I sang, but with each passing note it grew stronger and stronger and soon after, I was lost in my own little world I often daydreamed about. The lyrics of the song poured effortlessly out of my mouth, and as I sang, the emotions poured out of me to the audience. When I opened my eyes, I could see the entranced faces of the audience. Feeling more confident and alive with each beat of the music, I sang with everything I got, taking control of my stage, moving around and using gestures for more effect. Long gone was the fear and terror that accompanied me to the stage.
As I stood there, singing the final lines of the song, I felt a deep sense of fulfillment and accomplishment. I felt like I belonged there, on stage. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers. And I beamed with a smile, knowing that I had done great.
"So what's the point of all this story?" She asked me.
"Well the point is, find out what works for you, at that point where your mind is in utter chaos and fear."
"Something that can make you calm and be at peace with yourself at that moment on stage, so you don't end up embarrassing yourself on stage like you said", I answered her with a smile.
" For me, I went back to my daydreams, and it gave me some sort of confidence boost." I said jokingly to her.
"Oh! Aunty ChiChi, you're such a daydream believer", she said, and we both laughed at that.