Purpose

I've had no purpose for most of my life, and I was never too worried about finding out either. And I believe I still haven't figured it out. Sometimes I just feel like I'm not doing enough. Now, is that me neglecting my efforts, or am I truly not doing enough? I guess we'll never know for sure.

Yet, my loved ones say that I'm doing quite alright and that it is adequate. The appreciation by itself does mean a lot to me. However, I probably could be doing better.

At present, all I know is that I'm always trying. Yes, I do fall short, I miss deadlines once in a while, and I procrastinate too; I am human after all. However, whatever I start and have promised to take care of, I always get it done properly.

I haven't figured out the meaning of life yet; not when it comes to my own life at least. I still am in search of my purpose. Yet, I believe I'm getting close.

I'm in no hurry to find out though, or am I?

I've got time I believe, and even if I cease to exist tomorrow, I'll be happy knowing that I left this world while putting up a fight. I know that I've made a difference in a lot of people's lives, having made quite an impact, and that these people will love and remember me unconditionally; for quite a while at least.

And that is where I've truly succeeded, and have managed to find some purpose and joy...

I've learned to give; whether it's advice, lending a hand to a friend or a stranger even, donations, or charity, I've never really shied away. I love helping people! And I appreciate it when they come and take my advice, and if it truly helps them out in the end; nothing makes me happier. And the fact that people trust me when it comes to seeking advice, that alone fills me with joy.

That means that I'm at least doing something right, and have found some purpose.

Even though countless moments feel transactional. Because it benefits the party who's seeking aid. Yet, many truly care, and have been there even during my darkest days; even when I had nothing to offer in any shape or form. Then, I only held on to my integrity and honesty, and people have found some value in these traits and decided to stick around.

All I know is, that there are people who love me for who I am, and some love me for what I do, for what I can offer. Fortunately, for me, not a lot of people have what I currently have; especially when it comes to us men.

Went through a bit little bit of self-reflection today. After a busy and long, long day. I put in a straight 16-17 hours today and still managed to post on Hive. That's an accomplishment I'd say, and I'm loving it.

In conclusion...

Sometimes, I feel as if unconditional love doesn't exist, not even when it comes to self-love. Even self-love has its conditions. Yet, sometimes, I do see a speck of hope, for a thing called eternal love...

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5z2VmXDtTfI