I often call myself a nutbag and knucklehead but, despite some people actually thinking I am for whatever reason that really doesn't matter to me at all, I am not a knucklehead...all the time.
I know some stuff, have had a lot of experience in many varied things and have been around the block a time or three, for lack of a better way to put it. I get by in life fairly well, have relationships, highs and lows, success and failures, and even manage to hold down a job that challenges me and pays much better than it probably should.
I can't really complain to be honest, but yep, I'm going to because I released my full knuckleheadiness, because of someone else's nutbaggery!
I'm pretty angry right now (as I write this) to be honest; I don't mean storming around breaking things angry, just completely frustrated with a situation that simply shouldn't have come to pass. I'm good at getting angry too and I wouldn't want to be the subject of my anger because...well, I do it well. Fortunately, my anger and frustration, lets call it angstration or possibly frustrangryness, isn't aimed inwardly but externally and at my I.T. department at work. Those fuckers are getting on my last nerve.
My role is to win accounts, among a few other things, and I do a good job at it. I guess I sometimes feel I make it look easy but in truth it's not. It's taken a lifetime of study, research, training, experience, success and failure at all sorts of things to get where I am; one doesn't just fall into it. Mostly those accounts move along smoothly once signed and the service follows - I am in transport and work for a heavy haulage trucking company in case you're wondering.
The money in this industry is huge, transport is costly, and it's been lucrative for me. I perform my job function mostly autonomously and things usually progress nicely, but then there's this one account that I want, but I can't get...because of the lack of effort and ownership by my I.T. department.
The account is worth $8,000/week of revenue; it's not a large account being only $400,000 over a year. Nope, not huge, but it's for a massive global company who do something around thirty million dollars of transport here in Australia...and I want that account, all thirty million of it...but that's start with an initial account that trades much less, the $400,000 I mention.
They require some integration into their accounting software and I don't blame them; it keeps things easy, streamlined and easily managed.
The transport company I hope to steal the work from is currently doing it for them and I assume there's a plug in or some such computer-magicness that needs to happen in the background to facilitate it. I emailed my I.T. nutbags, gave then some information on the version of accounting software this company uses and some screen captures of their as-is situation and...Nothing. I heard nothing.
So I followed up with phone call a week later and received some bullshit and a promise. A week later...nothing. I followed up with another email and...Nothing. Are you getting the picture?
Today, I fucken lost it.
OK, not really, I'm professional...but I had very stern words with the State Manager and swore a lot. For the record, he's on my side and it quickly escalated.
The problem is, that I get the feeling it's too little too late. I believe the opportunity may have slipped through my fingers through lack of response; I mean, it doesn't look very good that I've made this company wait so long right? Fucking fuckety fuckballs.
I know, I know, move on G-dog...but why should I have to? I take ownership and responsibility for what I do personally and professionally and is it too mush to ask for others to do so? Methinks not.
I was building up a pretty good level of angstration, which isn't productive, and decided to quell it somewhat with some breakfast which you can see pictured. It worked. I then had a rather calm conversation with the State Manager and vented a little. The positive thing is this situation has identified an opportunity for the company to do things better but the casualty is (probably) my account as I think as it's very unlikely I'll secure it now.
I'm in a situation in which I get paid a salary then very healthy commissions once I've hit a target revenue amount; with that commission in the 10 percent of revenue region you can understand why I'm angry about this situation. Furthermore, it makes me look bad in front of a customer and that doesn't sit well with me; it's not pride or ego, is self-respect and ownership.
I sat with my second coffee after breakfast and thought about this scenario and what it'll cost me financially, and emotionally. I'll need to accept both losses, but also have to look at the positives I guess, and there are some to be found.
Writing this situation out like this helps me see it from arms length and that's a good thing; perspective. I'll get over it and will eventually stop saying things like fucking fuckety fuckballs...but not this day.
I wasn't angry at my breakfast, but I was angry at breakfast. The moments it took to eat, the coffee, tapping out this post also, brought me down to normal though, something that's critical for my ongoing success. Carrying anger forward isn't going to be very successful in business or relationships and so many other situations. I'm not one that feels anger is a negative thing, but it needs to be controlled, harnessed as such and, at some stage, released.
Now it's your turn, if you like, to talk about your angstration and frustrangryness. Have you worked up a good level of anger at any point and if so why? Was it work, personal life or otherwise and how did you manage it, harness it and then release it. Was there a positive result at the end? Feel free to comment and let me know if you're inclined.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
See that image above...It's mine, not yours. Savvy?