Parenting is probably one of the hardest and most demanding duties humans indulge in. While some might shy away from it due to the enormous demand and responsibilities, others are in it because they found themselves there one way or another. Regardless of how we became parents, I believe there should be some standard and aim we should set for ourselves to make us the best version of what any child could have asked for in a parent.
While growing up, I wasn't among the happiest children, probably because I grew up with a relative rather than with my parents, and that kind of created a gap between me and my parents till date because we hardly shared many memories together. But aside from that, there were other lapses I felt would have been better mended had I grown up with my parents, and each of these differences brooded my knowledge and ambition of what I'd love to do differently if I were a parent.
Although I'm yet to become a parent, I saw this current community prompt as one that's open to both prospective parents and those that are already one. Although I've been shouldering some duties that aren't too far from that of what a parent does, I know the difference is far greater than what I've done, and today I'll love to share some mind-blowing things I've laid in mind to do when I finally become a parent. I hope you'll find them worthwhile.
- Create quality time for my children: Over the years, I've seen how broad the gap between parents and their wards is, most especially between children and their fathers, who most times hide under the shadow of having loads of responsibility and how he must work tirelessly to provide for the needs of his family. I'm not downplaying the need to provide for one's family as a dad or parent, but the focal point of my statement is to create quality times to interact with our children, because that is a way of keeping the family together and also earning the trust of the child.
I can remember when I was growing up, the person who ought to play the role of a father to me was rarely seen around the house. Take, for instance, the fact that he usually leaves for work as early as 5 a.m. in order to beat the Lagos traffic and won't return home until past 8 p.m. tired, which means he can only eat, watch the news, and sleep to continue the same routine the following day. I can bet I forget what he looks like. I don't want to be such a father to my kid, and what I plan on doing differently is scheduling my activities in a way whereby there'll be adequate time for my kid.
- Leading by example: One of the core ways of instilling morals and discipline in our children is by living an example lifestyle, whereby we can be projected as a role model whose lifestyle portrays the way of life we want our kids to follow. It is much easier for kids to understand when we use ourselves as an example when correcting them about one thing or another than when we use someone else, because kids tend to pick up traits and behaviors from their parents.
So in a nutshell, one thing I want to do differently as a parent is to let my lifestyle speak volumes about what I expect them to do, and this includes being honest, taking responsibility, being truthful, admitting wrongs whenever I'm wrong, and so many others to mention but a few. When each of these traits is exhibited on a regular basis by me as a parent, it will serve as a blueprint that guides their own traits and character.
- A friend and a good listener: I can remember not seeing those I grew up with as a safe space to discuss or share my feelings because even before I conclude my statement, they are either bored, irritated, or nagging about why I'm discussing such things with them. As a parent, I want to be my children's best friend; I want to deal with them when it comes to relationships as though we're pals, though that doesn't mean I'll lose my respect, but instead to gain their trust, belief, and ability to realize that my doors are always open to discuss any issues with them.
- Positive affirmations: Positive affirmations being spoken to my child is one thing I will do differently as a parent. I've come to believe that the words we speak to ourselves or been spoken to us as a way of being impactful to our lives and how we deal with situations, for instance, a child who's always been made to feel like he or she can never amount to anything good. Such a child won't be surprised if others call them a failure outside, and that can lead to depression and a loss of self-confidence.
So as a parent, I want to make it a point of duty to continuously speak positive words and declarations to my kids because I believe it helps their beliefs in themselves and also boosts their confidence. In a situation where I regularly tell them they're great, made for greatness, and would excel, if anyone told them otherwise, they'll be less bothered because they know their parents believe in them and see the good in them.
That's about all I'll do differently as a parent, and the article was inspired by the motherhood community prompt. I hope you enjoy the read and find it worthwhile.
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME, HAVE A BLESSED DAY.