My youngest daughter, has been a little poorly the last few days and it's always difficult to watch your child when they are unwell. She's had an upset stomach and not been eating so much. I trust that her body knows what it is doing, but she has visibly lost weight and as a result she has been very low on energy. She is usually so energetic everyday until her head hits the pillow each night.
Today she turned 5 and I was in two minds about whether or not to go ahead with her party. when I asked her, she really wanted it to go ahead so in the end, we did. I spend the morning making her cake, organising the space, along with a treasure hunt and also making fruit kebabs.
Even though my beautiful girl was still not feeling so good, she got involved in all of the games and enjoyed her time with her friends, but after a few hours she was exhausted and needed to rest. She is such a little trouper and so determined with everything that she does. It's such a testament to how strong she really is.
I have had five incredible years with this amazing girl, she has brought so much joy and love into this world and I feel so blessed to have her in my life.
I remember so clearly the night that she was birthed earth side. I had spend weeks decorating the caravan, so that I could use it as a birthing space. painting it red and orange and filling it with candles and birthing mantras that I posted on the walls, encouraging my body to be like a willow tree,reminding myself to trust my body and surrender to the birthing process.
I spend some of my time that night, outside walking the land, enjoying the smell of the orange blossom and the animals calling to one another in the distance. Keeping me so calm and grounded. after a while I went back into the caravan where I turned on some of the music, that I had specifically chosen, dancing and singing along to it. My body wanted me to move, it felt like the most natural thing that I could do, to help my baby be born.
After a while I turned of the music and just focused on my body and the sounds that I was making instinctively. I knew that she would soon be born and as I got closer, the louder I got. In that finally transition, I began to wonder whether or not she was in fact in the right position to be born.
With that thought, things suddenly intensified. it's amazing what self doubt can do, when you are in such a vulnerable position. When you are birthing, you are so vulnerable to other people's energy especially when it is negative, the same can be said about your own thought process.
So as I began to feel things more strongly, I began to roar quite loud, which woke up the dogs. They then began to howl along with me and as my beautiful girl was born she was howling also. I was a little shocked as part of me was expecting her to enter this world calmly, but why would she when she was greeted by such sounds.
Those howls have now been transformed into roars, as she sees herself as a tiger most of the time. Looking back she came into the world as such a force and she continues to exhibit that power. I cannot wait to see the person that she will grow into.
