Esa era la pregunta con la que me recibía mi hijo cuando llegaba a casa luego de trabajar. Si bien no le inculcaba el apego a las cosas materiales, mi mamá y mi tía, quienes me ayudaban en ocasiones a cuidarlo, le decían que me pidiera algo como señal de que lo había recordado durante el día.

Por lo general siempre le llevaba algo, pero me molestaba la pregunta, y aunque le decía a ellas que no le enseñaran eso, para ellas era como algo normal, y no le daban importancia a las palabras que usaban en su cotidianidad.

Esa fue una de las razones por las que decidimos que al salir de clases, el niño se iría conmigo a la oficina, era un cambio en toda la dinámica, pero en mi trabajo me lo permitieron, así que tocaba llevarme su almuerzo para que comiera conmigo en donde yo trabajaba.

Eso ha pasado con mis dos niños, quienes al tener una mamá que trabaja, han estado conmigo luego de sus clases. Eso les ha enseñado con el ejemplo, a ganarse las cosas con su esfuerzo, ya que si querían algo durante mi jornada, debían hacer otra cosa a cambio: sacar copias, llevar memos, o alguna actividad acorde con su capacidad y que no le resultara complicado.

En algunas ocasiones se iba con su papá, y las pocas veces que eso pasaba, al llegar a recogerme, bastaba que abriera la puerta del auto para que preguntara ¿Y qué me trajiste?.

Ya era mi costumbre comprarle algo, se lo daba. Pero un día le cambié la dinámica para saber su reacción cuando no hubiese lo que él esperaba.

Salgo de la oficina y viene la pregunta esperada, a la que le respondí, "Te traje toda yo" y él muy desilusionado me dice, "y que hago yo con eso?". Era justo lo que esperaba que dijera, y lo tomé como punto de partida para una lección de vida que luego marcó su corazón, para bien.

Piensa en cuantos niños no tienen una madre que llegue y los abrace y bese, porque están enfermas, se fueron o se murieron, tu tienes la suerte de tener a tu mamá todos los días, así te fastidie a veces cuando te mando a hacer cosas. Él igual me dijo, yo quería algo dulce, para comer!

La pataleta le terminó pronto, pero le había quedado algo, ya no preguntaba sino que esperaba que fuera yo quien le ofreciera lo que había comprado para él.

Luego invertí los papeles y era yo quien le preguntaba a él que me había traído, y su respuesta era "nada! yo no tengo dinero para comprar".

Yo aprovechaba sus respuestas para sembrar ideas en su mente, y hacerlo reaccionar asertivamente ante la realidad. "Hijo, pero me puedes traer algo que hagas tu mismo"

Cómo nos cambia la emoción una simple actitud inesperada, y aunque puede que en su momento no lo comprendamos, nos queda clavada una lección para toda la vida.

Al escuchar mi respuesta, esa misma que me había dado días atrás, su expresión facial cambió de alegría a tristeza, sus ojitos se empezaban a llenar de lágrimas, y antes de que salieran, lo abracé muy fuerte y le dije, me encanta tu regalo, pero viste que feo se siente cuando uno trae algo con cariño y le contestan como lo hiciste tu aquella vez?

Pasé mis manos por sus ojitos para secar las lágrimas y le dije, mi amor por ti no se mide por las cosas que me das, sino por tomarte el tiempo de hacerlas para mi, y eso es lo que tu tienes que ver cuando yo te llevo algo, sea grande, pequeño, dulce, salado o simplemente que tu mami esté contigo.

A partir de ahí mi niño fue más empático conmigo (porque también puede ser muy odioso con los demás, pero él dice que es porque yo soy "chida") y empezó a ser mas considerado.

Las palabras sembradas por la tía y la abuela quedaron olvidadas.

Ahora, ya tiene 14 años, y la adolescencia se lo está comiendo vivo! pero aunque tenemos nuestros roces, siempre sale a flote ese niño que aprendió la lección. Ahora está pendiente de las finanzas y trata de no gastar en cosas innecesarias.

También me ayuda con su hermano, explicándole que no puede ser exigente y que cuando se puede hay que aprovechar y si no hay, entonces se deben conformar.

Creo que aunque en su momento pareció algo muy cruel, la enseñanza que le quedó fue buena. Lo importante es darle el ejemplo y ser consistentes con lo que decimos y hacemos, para no generarles confusiones.

Ninguno de los dos pregunta que les traje, pero reciben siempre con gratitud cualquier detalle que llegue a sus manitos.

That was the question my son would greet me with when he came home from work. While I did not instill in him an attachment to material things, my mom and aunt, who sometimes helped me take care of him, would tell him to ask me for something as a sign that I had remembered him during the day.

I usually always brought him something, but I resented the question, and even though I told them not to teach him that, for them it was like something normal, and they didn't give importance to the words they used in their daily life.

That was one of the reasons why we decided that after school, the child would go with me to the office, it was a change in the whole dynamic, but in my job they allowed me to do it, so I had to take his lunch to eat with me where I worked.

That has happened with my two children, who, having a working mom, have been with me after their classes. That has taught them by example, to earn things with their effort, because if they wanted something during my day, they had to do something else in return: make copies, carry memos, or some activity according to their ability and that was not complicated for them.

On some occasions he would go with his father, and the few times that happened, when he came to pick me up, it was enough that I opened the car door for him to ask, "What did you bring me?

As it was my habit to buy him something, I would give it to him. But one day I changed the dynamic to know his reaction when there wasn't what he expected.

I leave the office and the expected question comes, to which I answered, "I brought you everything myself" and he was very disappointed and said, "What am I going to do with that? It was just what I expected him to say, and I took it as a starting point for a life lesson that later marked his heart, for good.

Think of how many children don't have a mother who comes and hugs and kisses them, because they are sick, they are gone or they died, you are lucky to have your mom every day, even if she nags you sometimes when I send you to do things. He told me anyway, I wanted something sweet to eat!

tantrum was soon over, but he had something left, he no longer asked but waited for me to be the one to offer him what I had bought for him.

Then I reversed the roles and it was me who asked him what he had brought me, and his answer was "nothing! I don't have any money to buy".

I would take advantage of his answers to plant ideas in his mind, and make him react assertively to reality. "Son, but you can bring me something you make yourself."

How a simple unexpected attitude changes our emotions, and although we may not understand it at the time, it is a lesson for life.

Arriving home from school one day, my boy, now 6 years old, is coming with a drawing in his hand, very happy, and gives it to me with a smile from ear to ear. I, who am not a conventional mother, saw the opportunity to teach him a lesson.

When he heard my answer, the same one he had given me days before, his facial expression changed from joy to sadness, his eyes started to fill with tears, and before they came out, I hugged him tightly and told him, I love your gift, but did you see how ugly it feels when you bring something with love and they answer back like you did that time?

I ran my hands over his little eyes to dry the tears and told him, my love for you is not measured by the things you give me, but for taking the time to make them for me, and that is what you have to see when I bring you something, whether it is big, small, sweet, salty or just that your mommy is with you.

From then on my boy was more empathetic with me (because he can also be very hateful to others, but he says it's because I am "chida") and started to be more considerate. The words sown by the aunt and grandmother were forgotten.

Now, he is 14 years old, and adolescence is eating him alive! But even though we have our frictions, he always comes out as a child who learned his lesson. Now he's very financially mindful and tries not to spend on unnecessary things.

He also helps me with his brother, explaining to him that he can't be picky and that when you can, you have to take advantage of it and if you can't, then you have to make do.

I think that although at the time it seemed very cruel, the lesson he learned was a good one. The important thing is to set an example and be consistent with what we say and do, so as not to confuse them.

Neither of them asks what I brought them, but they always receive with gratitude any detail that reaches their little hands.