I haven't been to 'Murica since 2018. I left in 2001 for greener grass in Thailand and have returned a few times, but I was met with reverse culture shock each time I went back. One thing that will never make sense to me is why the fuck we take a shit and then use toilet paper. It's nasty. It's unsanitary and disgusting. It takes very little work to add a bum gun to the bathroom, but we keep buying toilet paper like idiots. That is the number one reason why I can't adjust to life back home, not to mention GMOs, car culture, all the Karens, and the high prices of everything.
My Lao wife and I went to our local market in Luang Prabang, Laos when she told me to keep my distance so the locals don't jack up the prices when they see she has a white boy hubby so what was I supposed to do? Play Super Mario 64 on my phone in the corner like a loser? No way man! I walked around and took pictures of the weird shit you'll see if you ever visit a Southeast Asian market.
The security at a place like this is legit. You park your bike and some dude will give you a matching number that is on your ride. When you're done you give him the number back plus 2,000 kip which is about twelve cents.
This is where we parted ways. She went left and I went right. A few people were laughing at me and saying that I was going to post about this place on Facebook. They didn't know I can speak Lao fluently. Sometimes I'll tell them it's for my crypto blog and that I think Mark Zuckerberg is a creep, but most of the time they have no clue what I'm rambling about so I'll just play dumb.
How are eggs all the same size? I can understand how this happens in factory farming, but here in Laos, some chickens are big and some are small, but all the eggs seem to come out the same size. Everyone is complaining about inflation these days. My rent has stayed the same and my bicycle uses the same amount of gasoline as before, $0, but beer has gone up 13%, Coke about 20%, and my favorite restaurant about 10%, but the USD has doubled in value so I really don't give a fuck. Eggs have doubled in price though.
I always thought these donuts looked nasty, but for ten cents they are worth a try right?
They ain't Krispy Kreme, but they're not that bad for the price.
Are beetles delicious? All of these were still alive with their legs kicking so at least they were fresh.
I love walking my dog in the middle of the night and always see dudes with flashlights strapped to their heads looking for frogs. I've tried frog a few times but wasn't a fan.
Grapefruits are a bit different here than they are back home. They are still delicious, but they will make it so that you can shit a golf ball through a garden hose.
It's always hard to get good pictures of dogs. They were delicious by the way. (I'm joking of course.) Thanks for checking out the local market with us today. It may not be Walmart, but it's a lot more fun.
