When Saying Yes Becomes A Burden: My Weak Point

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If there is one thing I consider and have checked as my weak point is not saying 'no' when it comes to helping people or giving to them; money, time etc. Helping in this regard is with the older people that I see as elderly ones. There is this quick willingness that comes to me to help these kinds of people because why? They are older than us and we should respect and humble them.

It is good to help them when you can but when it becomes one that keeps recurring every time and also takes your time from other activities, not being able to say no at that point keeps me stuck and would end up inconveniencing and making the whole thing uncomfortable because it will get to a certain point, I wouldn't enjoy the process again.

Don't get me wrong here, I am not saying helping to carry out tasks for the elderly ones or those in a higher position than you is wrong, but not saying no at a point especially when you see they keep taking advantage of you because you choose not to decline the request will weaken your mind and make you regret you accepting the offer in the first place.

I see these people as being superior and older than me, and where I come from, it is tagged as being respectful, but don't you think there should be a limit to actually saying no in a polite way so you don't get them angry at you, making them want to start hurling abusive words at you, and something very common they will say is that you are rude and not trained well at home.

It is such a bad mindset to think someone is disrespectful when they turn down a request because of certain reasons they can't meet up with it or finally coming to the dead end of not tolerating your attitude in taking advantage of them anymore. There are times when people will ask me, "Can't you say no or don't you know how to say no?" when they see me showing my dissatisfaction with something I have accepted to do at first and later feel bad at myself because I don't want to disrespect them but the task is making me feel uncomfortable.

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These people show their concern for me but it will be too late to return and say, "I am sorry I can't do it again" so, I have to face the consequences and make sure I get it done, and while that makes them happy, I feel my time has been wasted and would find myself practising saying no the next time it occurs and when such a time comes again, it's easier to say yes than to say no. Am I being too much of a good girl who wants to respect the elderly ones, even at the expense of my happiness?

Another thing similar to this is giving all the time because I want to show that I care even when it is affecting me. Don't get me wrong the second time, giving is good and more so, the Bible mentions that givers never lack. But don't you think a giver would lack when he gives too much without applying wisdom to it and knowing when to give and not to give?

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It is not every time we can give. This is something that I've learned of recently and I have discovered that my act of giving without learning to say "No, I can't help you for now" has slowed me down in some areas that when I think of what I could use the money or my time for, would go a long way improving my life.

This is my weak point and to tell you that some people are taking advantage of me over this because of my inability to say no when it comes to giving my time to someone older than me because I want to be the good girl or show my respect and act of obedience while it is inconveniencing and taking my time over doing something precious for myself. I have thought over this and learnt to say, "No, I cannot help or do this" while they understand me too.

In conclusion, applying wisdom to where my weak point lies is something I have started to embrace to improve my life as I have realised one thing: while making other people happy and relieving their burden, I should remember to do the same for myself.