kaushal mishra from Unsplash
Snow
Snow is a wicked equalizer. I can remember that when I was a child snow was my magic, I adored snow. But this snow was really “snow”, if you know what I mean? Six feet of compact ice. Visibility was zero and it was damn freezing cold; numbingly frigid. Janice, my wife, is a gem, a real god-damn treasure, but she’s contrary, you know? Mad, in a nice way, but... Anyway, my daughter’s name is Snow (no, not as in John Snow, Snow is her first name (I told you that my wife is mad)). Snow is also a bit bonkers (now who says such a thing about their own kid?). Snow decided that she wanted to be born in the middle of the worst snowstorm in the history of New York’s winters. Honestly!
About eight minutes after the warning came in, on all stations, to stay indoors and not move unless absolutely imperative, my dearest wife went into labor. Geez, you’d have to be a husband and father to understand the extreme drama. I’m only a man. How the hell was I supposed to know that it was really an urgent situation? After all don’t women give birth to babies every day. How hard can it be?
We had everything planned, you know? Down to the last detail: the “hospital kit”, the “doctor kit”, the “snack kit” and the address of the emergency outlet of the hospital carefully pre-programmed into the GPS. OMG, how innocent we were!
The kits were in the garage. We were prepared!
I tried to open the garage door, I really did, I promise!
But I was up against the force of nature, in more ways than one. That damn garage door would not budge, people, it would not give an inch against the snow.
So…no car, no hospital, lots and plenty of ice and no doctor, only me!
I’ve been known to pass out at the sight of blood. I could relate a host of stories, but obviously, I won’t, but it’s true.
Then I grew up, real fast, people. I grew up.
My wife was breathing heavily by now. You know how it goes, but I didn’t…I didn’t!
How the hell do you tell the person you love most in the world that you can’t, actually, help them?
Okay, I’m not a total idiot; I know a thing or two: forceps (kitchen prongs), boiling water (kettle), delivery blanket (towels), hope (coffee) and fortitude (me)
Thank God, Snow wanted to live. Otherwise I don’t know what I would’ve done. True’s God, she helped me, she was determined.
There were many gory moments and I know that you don’t want to know, but, people, I was a fucking star. Really!
When the going got tough, I rose to the occasion and gave my wife lots of coffee and it did the damn trick.
Today, I’m a proud father and my wife loves me more than ever, and we’re a happy family, and I could’ve been a doctor and…
Snow, the bright white light of my life.