I paid my rent yesterday, and that financial burden is now off my shoulders. There are many things I need money for, and as someone who dislikes asking others for financial assistance, I am glad I was able to get that one off my back. I received a call earlier today from one of my extended family members, who informed me that they are planning a family reunion of sorts.
To be honest, I do not like seeing those people; if it were up to me, I would leave the neighborhood and go somewhere far away, perhaps change my phone number and disable all access for the time being, just to find myself again. However, these items are expensive, and I cannot afford them.
So I have to deal with these people all the time; I do not hate them, but attending a family reunion rather than taking care of myself and looking for ways to recover is not something I want. However, this is how things are. Nobody cares how you are doing at the reunion.
In fact, reunions are an opportunity for people to demonstrate their success in life.
People want to meet other people when their business is thriving, and they want to share their successes with others, because it appears that the only way to validate your success is to have others praise you for it. My extended family includes people like this.
They spend a lot of time talking about how successful they have become, how their secrets have worked for them, and having other members of the extended family praise them and drink to their success. Consider this. Imagine if wealthy people had to live in their own world, with no poor people to brag about their wealth to. It would be fraustrating.
Humans (we) have many needs, including psychological ones.
This includes the validation people receive from who they have become and the compliments they receive for doing things well. They appear to earn affection and safety in order to satisfy their ego and vanity. For me, self-aggrandizement hasn't always been my thing.
Perhaps this is because life has humbled me in many ways, including the illnesses and loss I have had to deal with. Instead of wanting to be noticed, I usually prefer to remain in the shadows. I tried to avoid long conversations, eating out, and doing many outdoor activities. It was probably bad for me, but I had lost a lot of things and did not think I had the energy to compete with things like people and the rat race, all of which sap energy.
However, there are bills to pay and personal responsibilities to attend to, and I sometimes prefer to do my own thing rather than participate in other people's celebratory games.
I do not want to get angry with these people, or anyone; they are not the source of my problems, and sometimes I just tell myself that to see if I can participate in their activities the way they want me to. However, they are also uninterested in my concerns.
They enjoy it when they ask how I am doing and I say fine. However, when I bring up issues, they become bored and quickly dismiss my concerns. They believe that I can walk, eat, pay my bills, and show up, which is sufficient, and that I should accept everything else. However, I do not blame them; they are supposed to be extended family, which typically means distant, secondary, tertiary, and so on.
These people have functional families, including a wife and children, and they enjoy gathering everyone together to celebrate. I normally would not mind this, but I am not feeling well, and these are not the people I want to see.
I attend the majority of my hospital appointments alone, and I rarely have anyone to call in an emergency; these people are caught up in their own merry lives and living them to the fullest. So, I am just that part of them (extended) that they can not really cut off, and I can not really rely on them to share my burdens, so I am just going to have to deal with it myself. I am getting used to getting things done.
Fortunately, for the past year or so, my illnesses have allowed me to do many things on my own, and the freedom is satisfying. However, I am dreading the feeling of having to seek assistance, which I really do not want to do; I do not want to be in that situation.
Interested in some more of my works
Is it Easy To Make Money?
Nigeria: A Unique Business Market & Industry
Virtual Bank Apps In Nigeria: An Experience Of Gamification
How To Find The Next "BIG" Meme Coin
Personal Finance: Achieving Intentional "Saving" Goals
Playing The Survival Game: Human Nature In Introspection
"Un-PAYING" The Debt You Owe
