I Am Just Frustrated That What I Wanted To Happen Isn't Happening

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It sucks that I could not make myself exercise my joints yet, they are still painful especially my feet joints if I would walk them. So I am just waiting and waiting until the pain goes away and I can finally learn how to walk again on my own.

Right now I am just afraid to exercise them even and yes I did exercised my legs a couple of days ago but it made my legs ache now.

So I just have to continue in using my Cinacalcet which is a the drug alternative into having a parathyroidectomy. I do not want to take that awful medicine again but due to my financial constraints and this pandemic going into the mix it just got postponed and postponed.

I infect can go and have the Parathyroidectomy but I also have to think about the complications that will happen afterwards. So there will be a hidden expense there plus due to the fact that I have to also prioritize my dialysis I just can't sacrifice my funds yet because I just have a limited money right now.

I just hope too that I would not be like an onion that is peeled and peeled by waiting until none was left. Time is of the essence and unfortunately it is also one of the things that I cannot afford to lose.

But I trust God for what he can do and I am for now just contented that at least I am not in much pain like in the past few months even though I have an extreme appetiteloss issue. It sucks to live like this but I have to enjoy things that was left to me like little pain and not much breathless anymore.

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