Last week I wrote about Solitude and saw this week's word of the week and thought it was the same word. I had to do a double-take however as they often can be used together but have different meanings. This is because solitude can describe a state of being alone and also a place.
How I found my sanctuary
For many years I have been carrying a huge weight around with me. There was no escaping from this weight. I didn't know why I had this weight or what to think about it. I just know that I felt uneasy.
I tried to discuss with my parents why I would feel this way. Sometimes discussing with them would help me feel better but I still had this weight around me.
I didn't know where this weight came from and it wasn't the type that you could see. There was no escaping from this heavy burden that occupied my mind. I tried to read up more and improve my knowledge. I looked at what other people were doing in society and tried to copy them. Everybody was happy, right?
Things looked bleak and it looked as though I would always have this weight of uneasiness with me forever. The lack of control of emotions and the easy manipulation through anguish and fear. The worry about what could or might happen.
But then something happened or should I say someone happened. It took quite some time. The message was repeated very often and slowly. We weren't taught these things at school. I had to pay close attention. Many hours and days of contemplation.
The road seemed very steep and hopeless at times. But I continued on this road inside my mind. Guided by a kind soul who had clearly tread the path before me. Often it would seem as though I had passed through the light at the end of the tunnel. It was however just a false alert. I needed to continue on the journey.
One day, I woke up. It was a similar day to all those before it. I was still here and occupying my body. I noticed something very different though. Everything was at ease. My thoughts, my mind, my body.. everything was relaxed. What once was cloudy was now clear. There was a clarity that I had not felt before.
It felt good, as though my feet had found solid ground. Everything around me was the same, but something inside me had changed. It was impenetrable. I had immense power. I had found peace in my mind and sanctuary at last.
Thanks for reading.
Credits:
The title image was created in Canva using my own photo.