"Document 13" A Dystopian Tale: Part 6

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Here is Part 6 of "Document 13", a dystopian graphic novel I'm creating with my daughter. This part come with a trigger warning for suicide. Don't mean to give a spoiler but as someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts I think it's appropriate to give a warning.

I welcome any and all feedback!

The year is 2074, the world has been plunged into ecological and social ruin. One girl, Sarah Doe, will learn the secrets of the dark forces that led to such catastrophe. With the help of a few friends, her family, and her own powers she will fight to return the world to an order not known since well before her birth. Will she succeed? Read to find out!

If you haven't read the other parts, go back and read them first!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
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Scene:
Cellar cell. There are scattered boxes of canned goods around. A few chairs and random furniture are also in the room. Sarah is sitting on a makeshift bed against the wall.

Sarah: (in her thoughts) What’s the point? I can’t escape. They track my every move. Now I’m going from purgatory to Hell, at least that’s how I think it works... I want to be with Robin. She was my only friend. This is no life…

She notices a rafter above her.

She takes a sheet off the bed and throws it over the rafter. After tying the sheet into a noose and securing it to the rafter she moves a chair underneath and steps up onto it. She slips her head into the noose.

S: I’ll see you soon, Robin.

With slight hesitation she wiggles the chair over and hangs herself.

Scenes from her life flash by: The headmistress condemning her. Mr. Smith. Robin’s death. Moments with Robin around the orphanage. Some of her runs where she discovers items and sneaks them back to her room. Working in the garden as a young child with Robin. And finally a flash of her mother (who she doesn’t recognize) sealing her into a container and placing her near the orphanage air lock.

Blackness.

She wakes up.

She gags and flails a bit.

More flashes. “School” where she was taught to break into transport robots.

She wakes up again. Flails. And falls limp again.

Blackness.

She wakes up again. Limp.

More flashes. Being scolded by the Headmistress. Robot dogs. Robin. Her mother.
.
More blackness.

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Is this dark enough? It's a short scene but I'm trying to make it serious and somber. And leave it on a cliffhanger.

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