[ESP]
Saludos estimados amigos de Holos&Lotus, hoy me uno a la iniciativa de @emiliorios, Los Mitos detrás de las Máscaras que Usamos - ¿Qué ocultan a los otros? - Por Salud Mental ESP-ENG, invito a participar a @trimer2023 y @mariami.
Las máscaras existen desde hace mucho tiempo, los disfraces no solo son trajes y antifaces, las máscaras suelen ser invisibles para muchas personas, para otros no tanto, porque las han podido descubrir. Solo quienes las llevamos estamos seguros de lo que realmente queremos ocultar y porqué.
He conocido personas que llevan máscaras todo el tiempo para aparentar lo que no son, debe ser muy incómodo no ser auténticos para poder ser aceptado. Cuando buscamos la aceptación de los demás es porque salen a flote las inseguridades, la falta de firmeza y personalidad. Algunos se ponen la máscara de la alegría y parecen ser los más divertidos del mundo, los que nunca tienen problemas. Pero realmente es así?. Cuando estudiaba en la universidad, conocí en la residencia a una chica que era muy alegre, siempre estaba riendo y haciendo bromas, a todos nos gustaba esa forma de ser porque era muy ocurrente. Sin embargo, en la medida que la fui conociendo me habló de su máscara, me dijo que ella se consideraba a si misma como un payaso triste, su risa era solo por fuera. Como si fuera poco, me llevé otra sorpresa, tenía un genio cambiante y solía ser manipuladora, a muchos quizás les costaría creer eso de ella por la máscara que llevaba consigo.
En la misma residencia había otra chica que era todo lo contrario, no era simpática, siempre se mostraba a la defensiva y daba la impresión de ser odiosa. A pesar de eso, siempre tuve la intuición de que era buena persona y no era tan desagradable como se mostraba ante la gente. Con el pasar de los meses, también me habló de su máscara, pero antes de eso yo me había dado cuenta que era una persona muy sensible. Recuerdo perfectamente sus palabras, su mecanismo de defensa era portarse antipática para que no se dieran cuenta que era una persona muy tranquila y sumisa, motivo por el cual le harían bullying.
En mi actual trabajo habian muchas personas con máscaras, en particular recuerdo a una bajita que mostraba un carácter bastante desagradable, quizás con el fin de evitar el bullying por su baja estatura. En mi caso particular, creo que la etapa donde hize mi mayor uso de las máscaras fue en mi época de secundaria y universidad, estaba llena de inseguridades, no me hallaba sola y para ser aceptada, omitia mis propias opiniones y pensamientos solo para estar en una supuesta concordancia y así poder encajar en un grupo.
Siendo ya una universitaria, comencé a andar con una chica y sus hermanas cuyos intereses y gustos eran muy diferentes a los míos, razón por la cual me puse una máscara para estar a tono. Con el tiempo me di cuenta que ya no era yo, de tanto fingir, de pronto estaba como perdiendo mi esencia, me parecía más a ellas que a mi. Lo que me hizo caer en cuenta de ello fue una amiga que conocí en la secundaria, me dijo "que pasa contigo?, esa no eres tú". Gracias a sus palabras me despojé de aquella máscara donde me estaba perdiendo, obvio, no fue tan rápido, pero lo logré.
Fotografía original tomada con mi teléfono Xiaomi Redmi 9
Las máscaras son necesarias?
Que aprendí de todo esto?, que no hay nada mejor que aceptarnos como somos, ser auténticos y no fingir. Si algo no me parece y sé que no voy a llegar a ningún acuerdo, desisto, no discuto, me retiro, pero no dejo de mantener mi punto de vista por obtener el beneplácito de otros y menos su aceptación. Pienso que las máscaras tienen un papel en nuestra vida, el de no vender la idea al mundo que somos vulnerables por estar pasando por una situación difíci o demostrar nuestros problemas.
La gente no tiene porque enterarse de nuestras intimidades, debilidades, angustias y otras cargas emocionales y mucho menos lidiar con ellas. Nada de llenarse de esa vibra que nos invade en ese momento, es nuestro conflicto y solo nosostros debemos darle solución. Esto no significa que no seamos auténticos o dejemos de serlo. Nos diferenciamos de los los niños en que siempre nos mostrarán su verdadera cara ante cualquier circunstancia, parte de la madurez emocional.
Gracias por leer
[ENG]
Greetings dear friends of Holos&Lotus, today I join the initiative of @emiliorios, The Myths Behind the Masks We Wear - What do they hide from others? - By Mental Health ESP-ENG, I invite @trimer2023 and @mariami to participate.
Masks have been around for a long time, disguises are not only costumes and masks, masks are often invisible to many people, for others not so much, because they have been able to discover them. Only those of us who wear them are sure of what we really want to hide and why we want to hide it.
I have known people who wear masks all the time to appear what they are not, it must be very uncomfortable not to be authentic in order to be accepted. When we seek acceptance from others it is because insecurities, lack of assertiveness and personality come out. Some people put on the mask of joy and appear to be the funniest people in the world, the ones who never have any problems. But is that really the case? When I was in college, I met a girl in the dorm who was very cheerful, always laughing and making jokes, we all liked that way of being because she was very witty. However, as I got to know her, she told me about her mask, she told me that she considered herself to be a sad clown, her laughter was only on the outside. As if that wasn't enough, I got another surprise, she had a changeable temper and used to be manipulative, many would perhaps find it hard to believe that about her because of the mask she carried with her.
In the same residence there was another girl who was the opposite, she was not nice, she was always defensive and gave the impression of being hateful. In spite of that, I always had the intuition that she was a good person and was not as unpleasant as she appeared to people. As the months went by, she also told me about her mask, but before that I had realized that she was a very sensitive person. I remember perfectly her words, her defense mechanism was to be unfriendly so that they would not realize that she was a very quiet and submissive person, which was the reason why she would be bullied.
In my current job there were many people with masks, in particular I remember a short girl who showed a rather unpleasant character, perhaps in order to avoid bullying because of her short stature. In my particular case, I think that the stage where I made my greatest use of masks was in my high school and college days, I was full of insecurities, I was not alone and to be accepted, I omitted my own opinions and thoughts just to be in a supposed concordance and thus be able to fit in with the group.
As a college student, I started hanging out with a girl and her sisters whose interests and tastes were very different from mine, which is why I put on a mask to be in tune. Over time I realized that I was no longer me, so much pretending, suddenly I was losing my essence, I was more like them than me. What made me realize it was a friend I met in high school, she told me “what's wrong with you, that's not you”. Thanks to her words I got rid of that mask where I was losing myself, obviously, it was not so fast, but I did it.
Original photo taken with my Xiaomi Redmi 9 phone
Masks are necessary?
What I learned from all this? that there is nothing better than accepting ourselves as we are, being authentic and not pretending. If I don't like something and I know that I am not going to reach any agreement, I give up, I don't argue, I withdraw, but I don't stop maintaining my point of view to obtain the approval of others and even less their acceptance. I think that masks have a role in our lives, not to sell the idea to the world that we are vulnerable because we are going through a difficult situation or to demonstrate our problems.
People do not have to know about our intimacies, weaknesses, anguish and other emotional burdens and much less deal with them. No need to fill ourselves with that vibe that invades us at that moment, it is our conflict and only we should solve it. This does not mean that we are not authentic or that we are no longer authentic. We differ from children in that they will always show us their true face in any circumstance, part of emotional maturity.