Had an interesting conversation about first impressions and how they can be lies, but also indicate other factors.
First impressions count.
Right?
But, how correct are our first impressions, when we rarely get the feedback on whether we are right or not, and they are really just generalizations made on very narrow pieces of information? Not very accurate I would say. But, these observations do matter, because small factors can be an indicator of larger issues.
This started when we were talking about manners, where my client was saying how he doesn't like it when people where hats inside, like at a restaurant. He thinks it is a sign that they weren't taught as children. Similarly, I added things like elbows on the table while eating, or the way people hold a knife and a fork. In many ways, these things are like physical grammar, where people weren't corrected by parents, so they carry a habit through to childhood.
Now, these things aren't harmful traits in the world, but they are good examples of the way we judge people and the inferences we make on very limited information. However, on limited information we are able to make some pretty good guesses to some other factors. For instance, the cleanliness of a person based on the look of their hands. If their nails are dirty in a situation in public where there isn't really a reason for them to have dirty nails, what would you assume is the cleanliness of the bits of their body that isn't visible?
Hmmm. You want a piece of that?
There are many reasons that there is a one off situation, but this is just playing the odds with judgements in order to direct behaviors, when the cost to do so is low - meaning that they are a stranger. These are biases of course, and regardless of what people might say, we all have them, in the same way we all have preferences in what we find attractive, and repulsive.
This led into a conversation about the different layers we have, where in general, people show the best side of themselves publicly, because there is social a cost to do otherwise. My client mentioned members of the mafia wearing their Sunday best to church, and I added the priest at the same church preaching about virtue to them, while diddling the alter boy after Sunday school.
Wearing a hat at the dinner table doesn't seem so bad now.
I find these kinds of conversations interesting, because they start off at such an innocent level, but they can quickly be taken to extremes, which can make the first round seem so insignificant. Yet, when it comes to making judgements about people on what we see, we also have to assume that they are worse behind the scenes. As I mentioned to my client,
Character is how you act when you think no one is watching.
And, most of the time, no one is watching. At least directly. However, as we live more and more of our lives online, the greater amount of digital information we provide that gives insight into how we actually think and behave. And, because those collecting the information are selling it to people looking to increase their profits, it is being used to inform product offerings.
In the past, the things that you could buy in a store were quite limited, especially if they were more fringe items, because there was the sense of social shame that might come with buying some items. Now, people just order a dildo online, and have some food delivery company pick it up for them, along with a tub of lube and kitty litter. When "no one is watching" people are more open to act on their preferences.
Yet, I don't think we have considered how this affects supply, because if people are willing to pay, someone will provide. However, the more momentum something gets, the more extreme the offering becomes, whether it be vibrators or extremist ideologies - it is all part of a sell. And as a result, the products on offer are becoming more reflective of our hidden desires, rather than of our socially accepted desires, which might sound okay. However, it also normalizes a lot of niche and fetish, which in turn drives desires further to extremes.
“When you start watching porn, any porn’ll do. ‘Ah, they’re naked. Woo-hoo.’ Then, later on, you’re all fucked-up. And you need a perfect porn cocktail to get you off. I was so fucked-up, I need an Asian girl with a black girl’s ass that speaks Spanish just to get my dick to move an inch.
_Chris Rock
And then, factor in the ability to connect globally with "like minds" that will essentially challenge each other to ramp up the activity in some way, and the extreme thoughts get voiced through search even more, creating more data indicating that there is money to be made in offering the next iteration of a product line - like the evolution of sex dolls to the point that they are robots mimicking people. And, as we can see with the way people use AI for all kinds of generation, desires are being taken to extremes, but also becoming increasingly more public, which normalizes and influences further.
As said, it is in an interesting conversation if you follow the threaded path, but it begs to question where it leads, and what kind of impact it is going to have on society. What is becoming apparent, especially as we are more individualistic and disconnected from social obligation, is that people are becoming far braver in voicing their desires, and expecting them to be met.
Just imagine what it is like when we think no one is watching.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]