Smallsteps is ill (again) with a fever, and will be home for at least tomorrow, and probably Tuesday also. While she is an awesome sick child (some kids are terrors), it is frustrating at times as it requires a lot of juggling on our part, as there is no one else able to take care of her other than us most of the time. Her grandparents are getting to the age where even Smallsteps realizes they are losing their faculties, and she doesn't want to burden them either.
Last week, she spent the first afternoon home alone after school (she wanted to try). She let herself in, got herself a small snack from the fridge, and spent 45 minutes doing her homework and playing, until her mother came home from work.
She was super proud!
I am pretty sure this was normal when I was seven, but it doesn't seem to be the case now. It is like people have forgotten that kids are not only capable, but also enjoy having responsibility and taking care of themselves. Instead, we seem to coddle and spoil them, ensuring that their development toward independence is inhibited, and much slower than it could be.
Who are we protecting, them - or us?
I was reading an article in the Finnish news the other day about an experiment that was done across four schools recently that had air-filtration systems fitted. It was to see if it would affect illnesses, but what they actually looked at, was the time parents spent away from work. The result was that the schools fitted with filtration units, saw 30% less parental work absence. Now, that is a pretty good result, but for who?
Of course, it is a hassle to have ill children at home and it does affect work outcomes, but I wonder what happens to the immune system of the children in the future. If children aren't exposed to germs, they don't build the antibodies required to fight them. Couple this with a decreasing quality of nutrition, increased chemicals, and their future might not be so bright. The convenience of it now for the parents, might come at a high price for the children later, much like those parents who say "my child won't eat vegetables".
Bullshit.
A colleague actually was talking about this the other day, where her godchildren "wouldn't eat vegetables" with the parents, but would with her. The difference was, that she included them into the cooking process, rather than trying to force them to eat it. Once they played a part in the creation of their own food, they enjoyed eating it.
But it is inconvenient at times, as it is slower to have children help.
However, it is likely only slower in the moment, because having them participate in daily activities like cooking and cleaning, means that they are sooner able to help out effectively, as well as look after themselves. Convenience gets in the way of skill building. And for those who choose convenience before even knowing the basics, they may be missing a whole lot of other benefits of the learning process. It is like using a calculator as a child, rather than learning how to do simple math - it is going to affect the thought process, and it might not just be applicable to math - it could affect processing other areas also.
Humans are pretty smart - but we are also stupid enough to believe that acting with good intention, always leads to good outcomes - especially around our future health. So many things have been implemented, only to have highly negative impacts on us later, ad sometimes it takes decades to discover the true costs. The health of our children is paramount, and we all want them to be as healthy as they can be, but we also have to consider that they are going to have to live the longest with the consequences of our actions now.
There is no certainty.
There is no certainty that what we do is going to lead to good or bad outcomes, but I also think that we have gotten a little careless in the way we approach our behaviors. There is pretty good information around certain topics, like nutrition for children, that should influence what we do. Similarly, there is also pretty good information around developing immunity, as well as building independence skills, yet we going against the grain, all in the name of convenience?
Reducing leave days due to sick kids sounds like win, but at the same time, perhaps there are other lessons in that inconvenience that benefit us and our children more, than spending those extra days at work. Perhaps being forced to prioritize and put our children first, helps understanding as well as strengthens the relationships in families. Maybe, not spending as many "hard times" together and making sacrifices for each other, is part of the reason that family relationships, and therefore healthy communities, are eroding.
With the ability to work from home, my wife will spend the day with Smallsteps tomorrow, and I will spend Tuesday at home with her. But, I am considering taking a proper day off, where I don't work and tend to her on the side, rather I spend the time with her being ill. She doesn't need me to be with her, she is capable of finding ways to entertain herself - but there is value in dropping everything and just spending time together also.
The future is built on the foundations of today.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]