Sometimes through words that the colour of thoughts can be discovered.
I am alive, I breathe. I breathe thinking that today I saw death in front of me.
I've been able to see her for several years now, and even though I tried to trick her, she feels the curved dagger of my eyes stuck in her skin, so I just stay still staring at nothing until her half-empty guest leaves.
Yesterday, after several days I met my boss at work, I know that he has not been feeling well due to some gastric discomfort that has been happening to him, but I also know that he likes to drink - secretly - excessively, or maybe , a small sip is enough to activate a dangerous domino effect that little by little will spread throughout the organic network of your body map.
When I saw him I realized that he was not alone, he was accompanied by a pale, greenish color to his skin, a slight yellowish tint in his eyes, and a frugal and nervous voice that did everything possible not to be diluted by effort and fatigue of a weak and tired body.
I noticed a little devilish laugh when he saw my frown! That's what I thought I saw, though, maybe it was just a little challenge.
Stop me if you can! - told me -
Please, just be nice, like last time - I replied -
-Until yesterday I was kind, today I will be like a fetid and rotten sore on your skin.
This is one of my bad pictures almost closing the night.
I did not choose to be a dark, vicious or perverted soul, and I also know that this is not enough to satisfy death, but it will be enough so that when she passes her list I am postponed again and again by more pretentious and entertaining people.
There are people who choose to die while they are alive.
These people are not interested in your advice or your stupid philosophy, they just want to dielive as they chose, with their foot on the accelerator and without fear of crashing into the cold bottom of the precipice where they will end up. Sounds brave to you, right?
Possibly one day they abandoned themselves when they put their rudest desires on clay pebbles that they never cooked, poor potters!
One more day is nothing! It's just one more day with your vice consuming your life, and because being alive is not enough to deceive the loneliness that exists within your bodies.
They are so screwed up that many of us regret helping to lift them up: Does this sound anti-human, wild, insensitive to you? It's human nature, imperfect and filthy, sometimes.
Our long dark nights.
We should break all their tasteless and inappropriate justifications against the wall of useless lamentations.There are so many people trying to resolve their lives in such an unfair and ridiculous way that it is scary to look at the void that swallows them.
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How do you feel when you drink a thousand bottles of whisky, when you get high on white powder in your nose, after smoking too many cigarettes, after passionately eating more than you can afford, after compulsively gambling everything you don't have, after ruining all your nails with your teeth, after sticking your hands where you shouldn't, after compulsively buying thousands of worthless luxuries, after suffocating others weaker than you....?
There are still some pretty colors under the darkness of the night.
Now please stop, close your eyes and think, ask yourself, Why are you doing this to yourself? Aren't there better ways to combat anguish, loneliness, abandonment, heartbreak?
MAYBE
Maybe you just need to go back to the beginning and remember why you stayed motionless in that diffuse and vague limbo, unable to stop that sticky saliva that dripped in very fine lines from the corner of your lips, and maybe you never before discovered that with a simple hug of those that cure hatred, sadness and loneliness you could breathe so hard, so strong that everything that was drowning you and poisoning your soul would end up in a second diluted in the well of never again.
Maybe it's not so difficult, try it,...breathe...breathe
...you're alive.
Maybe you just need to not abandon yourself again...and I will stop asking death to leave you alone.
I just took this photo.
Death is defended with life...there are no more voids than those you leave open, that is why I chose euthanasia before signing for a reason.
Come on, everyone knows where they are going, but no one knows how they will return in the next life.
Always very grateful for your reading.
The text is entirely my own
All photos are my property
Using the Lightroom application, free version
Translation done with Deep Translate, free version
