Hey All,
So I've been struggling as of late. Like the past 5 or 6 years with finding friends or making andmy meaningful friendships outside of work. It's not that I'm ar recluse or anything, I think I'm a pretty fun guy to be around. But I'm in my mid 30's with 3 kids and find it a real struggle to make friends. And that just sucks. My wife and I met in FLA and moved after we got married. Growing up had a ton of people that I was close with. MOVED TO Florida and again found a solid core group of people that I was close with. Then in 2014 we moved to out current location and it's been a drought.
It really makes me sad at times. I love my wife she's my best friend but sometimes it's nice to have your buddy you can call with stuff only they would understand and know you won't be judged for it. I've tried many different avenues in order to try and find groups with similar interests and hobbies but I just keep on coming up with Nada.
Case in point we are lucky enough to have been able to join a nice country club that has a bug pool etc for the kids. I got involved in a Friday Golf group with a bunch of guys my age with kids etc.
I played with them for about 3 months and got a text saying that I'm no longer welcome to play in the group with them. IT WAS AT THIS POINT I was completely befuddled , so I asked "Whats thus all about?" And I was told I made some guys in the group " uncomfortable " I asked what I did that made someone uncomfortable and got no answer. Now mind you I'm a personable guy and can read a group of people and these guys I played with weren't altar boys by any means. And for the most kart every week I played I had a real good time with everyone in the group. So I think I figured out the reason and it actually sting more the making some guys uncomfortable. Most of these guys are 9-5 office guys in Finance or what have you and I started my own Petroleum Service Company 3 years ago where I basically work on Petrol/Gas Pumps and the POS systems they are connected too. It's a tough job but the pay is great. So much so my wife has been able to be a stay at home mom.to our kids and homeschool them. My job requires me to be a network engineer, Plumber. Electrician you name it. Here's the kicker. I drive my truck sometimes to the course, and it isn't a fancy BMW . ITS A workhorse utility truck. And I am fairly certain that I was deemed not worthy to play with these guys cause I don't fit in to their "Clique" or I'm seen as that lonely, "blue Collar worker" which actually made me feel worse.
So I was told by another grown man that I wasn't good enough to play golf with them. Not my ability but my standing in life. When fact if the matter if I probably bring home more then they do. But I'm not that guy. I wanted to over react and go off on that person so very badly. But I just said " well that Sucks, see ya around" cause I know that guy had to get liquored up in order to even say this to me. Cause it was midnight when I received the texts.
It's hard for me to express my emotions it's not a subject or action I'm comfortable with. So me even writing this in my blog is huge for me . I know it's unhealthy etc, etc . I'm working on it.
This all just made me realize how I really have no friends. I have acquaintances, but that's it. I look at all my kids and it hurts my heart knowing one day that this will happen to them and I will have to explain to them that people are just Jerks . This is a learned behavior so if at 40 years old grown men are still playing the "Your not good enough " card then I can only imagine 1. They are just juvenile and shallow 2. At some point in their lives they were never taught how to be a man/human. I will say this even when I was in high school I always tried to make people feel welcome. I Wasn't uber popular but I went to school with the same kids from K-12. My friends ranged every "clique" in our school and I always tried to make the "new Kid " feel welcome. Even then I knew it was a shitty feeling to feel like your alone.
I have moved on. It's just been really hard lately to get that "friend". The person you can call at 4am cause xyz happened. So I will finish with this. For all of you with that friend. Cherish then. They are few and far between these days. It's so easy to get caught up in the hype and forget about how valuable a real friend is. And please if you have gotten this far in my post show some ❤️ with a comment. It wasn't easy for me to write this . Anyways guys Till next time.
-JMoons
