Greetings hiveans and friends ❤️. Its an opportunity to be joining in one of the #OctoberInleoChallenge and this very topic is one that’s so crucial to many women especially the married ones.

Topic: How’s Your Relationship With Your Mother In Law?

When couples falls in love which is a thing that comes naturally between the man and the women, the woman’s most focus is on how much the man loves her believing the relationship or the expected relationship that will eventually leads to marriage is between she and the man 👨. Which is how its supposed to be, but I think 💭 this belief is totally 💯 limited to the western world 🌍.

In Africa where I come from it’s totally 💯 the other way around where marriage totally involves all the family of the man no matter how civilized the couples are or the level of education they obtained, because the man who falls in love 😍 with the woman 👩🏻 he wants to marry would have already told his wife to be how he does not joke with his mother, who eventually is going to be your future mother in - law. And sometimes too, it might turns out that the man is the bread 🍞 winner of the family which automatically makes him the one every others of his siblings turns to. So with this kind of awareness you as a woman 👩🏻will within your mindset know if its a place you want to be for the rest of your life or make a decision of not going on with the marriage.

Our Personality As A Woman:

For me as a woman who loved her mother so much before she departed to be with the Lord, I know how close I was with my mother and other of my siblings and this bonds is what is expected in most homes in Africa which is why I see my husband’s family as my own family before accepting to marry him because the Bible said that when two people are joined together, they become one. So once I have accepted this marriage, I took my Mother In Law as my own mother because I know what family bonds in Africa involves. In most cases, men will want their wives to treat their mothers as their own mother which brings more love ❤️ into the family.

Independent:

This is one factor that makes most marriages to be so rosy and makes relationships between the man’s mother and his wife to be in a good relationship since the woman 👩🏻 as a working class lady or business 👩‍💼owner will have her own source of finances which she manages on her own not totally dependent on the man 👨.

I have seen cases where daughter in laws are fighting their mother in laws because of how their husbands takes decisions on how to make sure his mother goes for check ups as at when needed. But if we as women have our own finances, we will not pay attention to little details like this, or things like our husbands paying school fees for his siblings. These are factors that originate hate in a family where couples will begin to have problems that can lead to divorce.

Respect:

They say respect is a reciprocal which is why we as women should check properly the families we are about to marry to so we don’t make mistakes of had I known. We should be able to know the man well enough, his family backgrounds and how his relationships with them are because if we don’t know what to expect which can lead to unforeseen circumstances, we might end up being the enemy in the family which eventually leads to disrespect and can cause us harm from our mother in law and her children teaming up against us.

However, we should also know that there are mother in laws that are too controlling towards their sons which is why most daughter in laws have problems in having a good relationships with their mother in laws, but it all have to be a situation that will be resolved between the man and his wife where the man has to understand he is not totally obligated to all the request his mother demands especially when he has his own immediate family. But this has to be resolved with the man, not our mother in law.

In conclusion, marriage is not boy girl relationship, but a relationship that involves many deeper happenings, feelings and emotions which is why we must properly analyze things that revolves around it before saying yes, especially those that concerns the man immediate family.

This is my participation entry into the #OctoberInleoChallenge for #ladiesofhive Community

Thanks for reading and supporting. Sending love to you all hiveans ❤️🥰💯

Images are mine.