I remember my mom as a strict parent who would use a whip if she had to just so she could put some sense into me. I also missed a lot of what were supposed to be good experiences as a teenager if only she were not that strict, but even so, I'm still thankful toward her for what I became today. I resented her, but that feeling was long gone, only gratitude was left.
Year 2017, when I finally had surgery for the removal of a polyp in my nose. I planned to work months after that, and Mom cheered for me, saying, "Work hard and be good in there. You don't have to think about us here, just make sure to save some of your salary. Be a wise spender too, don't just spend and dry up your wallet. Think of your future. Just go fly and gain experiences and get a good job. Just be sure to contact us from time to time." We both cried, Me and Mommy F, the day I had to go to Batangas and as I bid farewell to them. It is as if I will be flying abroad and we won't be seeing each other for years, lol.
But seriously, hearing those words from her makes me feel at ease because I don't have to try hard, maybe just enough trying will do. There's no pressure at all. In my head, I can go to work without thinking that I have to do this and that so that I can please them. I just have to be me, the normal me that they know. I am so lucky to have her as my mom.
So going back to the question: As a parent, do you agree with this, or will you allow your kids to shoulder burdens that are not supposed to be theirs?
If ever I become a mom, I won't allow this. But if they insist on doing it without me forcing them to do that, then sure. I will just let them decide regarding that matter. But of course, there's still a limit to what they can do, and I will urge them to also think about their future, just like what Mom did to me. I'll let them spread their wings and fly on their own and will also assure them that doing that, as long as no one gets hurt, is very much okay for me. It is their life, and they should enjoy it.
And the kid helping me? I won't call it a burden to them because I know that there are really children out there that, even if we don't force them, will still help because that's how they know what family is. And for sure, to them, they are just lending a hand to the family they love.
And I think guiding them and letting them know how important family is while growing up and that being here for the family is a great help for the parents, Financial help aside, just physically being present when they need ears to listen to them, someone who can console them, knowing that someone is cheering for you in life is a big relief to the one receiving it.
And you know, if, while you are still young, you have already set a goal to save a lot of money for the future, money won't be a problem as long as you have your savings. Just like my mother. She has savings, and thanks to that, we are still living comfortably.
Let me just share this. I'm sharing it because I'm proud of it, hehe ฅ•ﻌ•ฅ.
I am proud to say that I gave financial help to the household For our own Consumption. There's no need to ask, I will just hand them to Mom and let her handle it, and Mom will use it to buy a sack of rice (half cavan). They didn't ask for it, there was no forcing at all because they have their own money to provide for the house (perks of having their own savings). That's why I will just volunteer. And I'm doing it because they are not asking for it, I did it of my own accord, as in wholeheartedly.
I also buy some of our necessities, like soap and shampoo. I also buy ingredients for our meal, like meat, fish, or veggies, not every day because we have turns in spending, but I know it's really a big help for them. In my head, I know that just with that small act, I can help them lift the burden of spending money on some of our necessities. But for them, that's already a big help. It always feels great when I know I can now also help in this small matter.
As a child, is it necessary for you to pay back your parents' laborious efforts even though it means you have to sacrifice your freedom? Now with this question;
Hmmm, for me, it is not necessary, it's more like being a responsible daughter for the parents. It's not like Mom lent me money, she spent it only for me, as she planned beforehand, so I know she is not asking for a payback. Actually, that "pay back" for her is when I find a good job that can give me enough money, enough so that I can save too for my future.
It is the kind of payback that will benefit me the most, not the other way around. For her, she already did her best to give me what I needed, and it is just up to me how I will lead my life from now on. Although I don't have a good job right now with good pay and am still living with them, for me, just for me, I know my responsibility in this household, and I am embracing it without complaining.
And my freedom? Well, it's not like I need it, and actually, I am free to do what I want. It's just that it's me who's declining it. Weird no? Lol. But that's just what I am.
I can say that, I just got lucky to have a family who support me in whatever decision I made. And also I think, growing with the influence my Mom drills in my head, help me understand things, and help me become what I am Today. Thanks to them I have better understanding about life now.
