How do you create a balance between giving to others and prioritizing your own needs?.
This is undeniably one of the most difficult things to do in human life, this question may likely come to mind when we find ourselves in a position where we have to give out things to people, often to our own detriment. Creating a balance between these two phenomena is extremely difficult but definitely possible.
I like to carry out what economists call a " scale of preference ", only that in this case, I'm not just arranging my needs and wants in a dual column table, there's figuratively a third and fourth column specifically for those who ' need ' my help and people who ' want ' it. There's a difference there because for those who need my help, then it's something only I can do and it's a rather pressing need of theirs but for those who want it,they have alternatives if I don't meet up to what they want. If in the event that I have plenty, I make sure to attend to my most immediate and pressing needs first before attending to those who need my help. There are factors I consider before rendering financial help to people but the most important one for me is this ; what is left for me at the end of the day and would it be enough to sustain me?. This is the most important factor for me because I consider it a very anserine move to help people to the point where you also end up being in a state of want. At that point, people you thought needed you, will end up finding help elsewhere while you're left dry and stranded. As someone who has been in this situation more often than not, I can assure you it's not a really good position to find yourself.
Secondly, I never put myself in a position where I have to give something to someone or a group of persons, I never make untold promises to anyone or commit myself to certain tasks or obligations engineered to rendering aid to people. When the chips are down, these promises begin to feel like a burden, you find yourself struggling to meet up to their expectations, you'll eventually find yourself giving not because you want to but because you have to as you must honour your promise and be true to your words. I have seen people regret terribly after making such vows or promises and I honestly think it's one of the worst moves to make because life is unpredictable,you'll never know when it'll throw an obstacle your way and at that time, no one will care that you're struggling, all they'll remember is the promise you made to them that you're yet to fulfill so in regards to me, unless it's something I can immediately take care of, then I forget about it in all entirety because I won't use my words to set a trap for myself.
I feel giving or rendering aid to people is something that's meant to come from the heart, I don't do it because I'm hoping to get something in return or I'm in need of accolades. It should be done because you care and genuinely feel empathy towards whoever that may be in need. To sum it all up, there should be no room for regret after the deed has been done, this is why even when I do give, I make sure it's not to my detriment. This is how I create my balance between giving to others and prioritizing my needs. It's not selfishness, it's just aimed at self_sustenance.