Hello everyone, hope you all are doing well and well. Today I will be sharing my thoughts on single mothers as prompted by @merit.ahama
First of all, I must appreciate you for this topic, I am always happy to add my voice anywhere women are celebrated.
Again I feel it right to kill the general notion that single mothers are wayward and immoral young girls who did not listen to their elders or something.
The majority of young girls who were put in the family way were betrayed, raped, and sexually assaulted by persons whom they cared for, loved, and brought into their inner circle. As @merit.ahama said, they are mothers too, the only difference to me is the presence of a male figure
Concurrently, I give a loud shout-out to every single mother out there all over the world. You are all amazing. Taking up the job of two persons alone and doing undoubtedly well deserves accolades.
No matter the circumstances surrounding the birth of that child, the most important factor for me is that you made a great choice of not killing that life. You gave that life a chance to live and be seen. I see you all, your hard work glows in the result. I stand to be corrected but I feel most kids raised by single mothers tend to grow more responsibly in society unlike some kids raised by both parents. Like I said earlier these are my opinions, not general facts.
MY ADVICE FOR SINGLE MOTHERS.
For the choice to bring forth that life and give it a chance on earth, you are amazing, special, and Worthy. I know that some societies tend to discriminate against you but keep doing what you do, keep raising and grooming that precious gem to be a star. It will pay out. You will reap the rewards of all your labor, pains, and sweat.
Some single mothers are lucky, they get support from their family and child support from the supposed sperm donor while some single mothers are not so lucky.
Where I hail from, the Eastern part of Nigeria to be precise, it is considered taboo for a girl to get pregnant out of wedlock and so if in any eventuality a girl finds herself pregnant out of wedlock, two options are left for her.
The first option is that the male who got her pregnant comes and quickly marries her off or the second option is for her to be banished and ostracized by her family and community.
If any single mother has ever felt the sting of ostracism, I reach out with a big hug but know this and know it well, the times will shift and you will be rewarded for all of your efforts. I celebrate you just as I know that heaven smiles and celebrates you. You are really and truly doing a great job.
I should know because I am personally close to one and I see her efforts in molding and caring for her girl child all on her own with no support from anywhere at all.
I think society needs a shift in their views and how they treat single mothers. They are mothers too you know. They work twice as hard both at home and at their respective jobs. If you happen to be an employer with a single mother on your payroll, you can do something to alleviate their burdens.
You could raise their pay or grant them access to easy-pay loans for the long run. Do you have a neighbor who is a single mother, help her out maybe with her kid or kids. Ask after her well-being and that of her kids. You could also deliberately bake a pie and take it over for a family brunch. Whatever it is do give a helping hand and not a condescending stare.
Once again to all single mothers, I know it gets hard daily to singly raise that child or children. You can't go for your recreational activities as much as you would want to or have liked to. You can't even date without thinking of your child first and all that.
Don't worry all these will pay out for your good soon. Just imagine the overflowing joy you will have in you when that kid goes through school and graduates, he or she now steps into their career path and begin making massive accomplishments, and then one day that kid you nurtured comes and says to you, Mom follow me somewhere. You get prepared and drive down to the Venue without a clue in the world of what's going on and you step into the venue and you hear the loudest surprise ever.
The lights come up, you can see flower petals being poured all over you, and you kid, well technically not a kid anymore, steps forward from the crowd, moves to you, takes your hand, and leads you to the podium and lets everyone know that all of his or her accomplishments only came about because of YOU. Well, I know for sure that my heart size will literally grow bigger or even explode out of joy.
Know that you are loved, valued, and much appreciated. So my final words are, don't let your hands grow weary, keep pushing and striving to be the best. Do something good with yourself, and increase your value for yourself and not for society. Walk with your head held high for you are a queen in your own right, do not look down on yourself, and sure as heaven don't let anyone look down on you.
Single mothers can still be whatever they want to be. Never stop dreaming and dream big.
WHAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE YOU'VE HEARD OR SEEN MEN BELIEVE ABOUT WOMEN?
This is so so thrilling just to think about. I mean o for one have come in contact with misogynists. Especially from West Africa, Nigeria to be precise. I have heard a lot of lies spouted and believed by some men and these lies are used by them to inflict pain on women. Causing misery and endless pain for the female folk.
Africa is famous for its deep-seated superstitious beliefs which I believe has kept it where it is today with little record of advancement.
If it is not women who love money then women are weak or women should not pursue career paths or make any achievements or women are never loyal, or women are easy targets and stuff. Well Boohoo, women are the strongest beings I know. One other lie that seems to boggle my mind is the fact that the female child should not be educated because education corrupts them and makes them promiscuous. This has led so many fathers to neglect their girl children, treat them like outcasts and dump them wherever in the cloak of marriage.
It's been proven time and time again, that women can do great things with the right amount of support and encouragement. The world can testify to the great impacts of women like Marie Curie, Princess Diana of Wales, Mother Theresa, Margaret Thatcher, Oprah Winfrey, Rosa Parks, Ada Lovelace, and Hilary Clinton to mention a few. I think I feel what beyonceknowles felt when she sang "Who runs the world, girls".
Women run the world, we make it go runaround are superb creatures to know. It's high time those misogynists start having a change of perspective. Shed every lie heard, taught, or believed about women and embrace us and our potential.
I guess I should pen down right here. Thanks for reading, peace.