It had been a day since Lucy decided to finally ditch Windows and join the FoSS movement. She had heard really cool things, so she had installed Mint Linux. Good for beginners, and Lucy was a virgin.
Growing up with the totalitarian Windows, the lack of the iconic multicolored Windows icon during bootup worried Lucy. What if she was making a mistake? Should she have followed the difficult guides and “dual booted” her “rig”? Too late now, she was balls deep in Linux, no protection in sight.
She had heard something about a terminal, but didn’t feel ready for it. Might as well just load up Word and...wait...Microsoft Word? Crap, where is it? She went to boot up Internet Explorer and search. No Internet Explorer either?
“Lucy, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” Lucy sighed to herself.
She pulled out her phone and Googled “Word for Linux”.
“Leebray Office Writer? Is that what it’s called?”
“It doesn’t matter, you can call me whatever you want, baby.” The LibreOffice icon bounced in her taskbar.
“Who said that!?” Lucy shrieked.
“Click me and find out.”
Lucy hesitantly clicked the egotistical, yet handsome sounding icon.
And up it popped. LibreOffice Writer.
“Wow, that was quick. I like that.”
“There’s a lot of me you’ll like, Lucy” said the sexy new word processor.
Lucy was intrigued.
“Don’t know where to start, huh?”
“No...you have so many...many functions, I’m overwhelmed...” Lucy bashfully admitted.
“Haha I like that you’re new to this. Just click around a little bit, try me out for size.”
Lucy started typing a story. She wanted to stay in her comfort zone for a bit longer.
‘Once upon a time, there was a beautiful fairy princess named Betty. She was so lonely that she ran away from her kingdom and got lost in the woods.’
“Oh yes, keep typing!” LibreOffice grumbled.
‘One day, while trying to find her way home, she heard an entrancing tune. She had to find its source!She looked and looked, and as she got closer, the music grew louder. And there he was, next to a waterfall: the elf prince, playing a flute. He could only be described as gorgeous.’
“I’m loving this.” said the handsome application.
“Good, so am I.”
‘”Oh, hi...the prince said”, surprised by Betty’s immense beauty, appearing from the underbrush. “I’m Jeff, the elf prince. Who are you?”
“I’m Betty, the fairy princess. I like your flute, Jeff. You play it really well!” giggled Betty.
“Oh this lil’ thing? I was just practicing.” the handsome elf ostentatiously flung the flute into the waterfall. “Here, let me show you something to really write home about.” Jeff stood up. He was naked. Everybody was naked in the elf kingdom. The fairy kingdom mocked them for it, but Betty was starting to see the appeal.
“Oh my...”
“Come here, I’ll teach you how to play.”
Then they had sex.
The end.’
“What a great story Lucy!”
“Oh, thank you. I hoped it would be. I learned from the best!”
“What’s it called?” inquired LibreOffice Writer.
“Lost and Found – An Erotic Story of Forbidden Lust and Passion”
“Great title hook! How did you come up with it?” asked the handsome word processor.
“Oh I don’t know, it just came to mind.”
“It feels so good when you typed on me.”
“You handled my typing so well...” Lucy flirted, “I’m glad I switched to Linux!”
“That’s not all I can handle...”
Then they had sex.
The end.
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