‘Tell us of weddings that you experienced went wrong.’ Hive Naija post
I saw this prompt and bailed because no bad experience came to mind since I avoid weddings like a plague, attending only out of necessity. Forgetting that there was a time when I loved to attend weddings.
Please don’t call me petty - item seven is the extra boost I love asides from dancing at receptions. Scratch dance food first. I can’t help it I like party rice. By the way don’t you need energy to dance ;).
For a while, I thought I was cursed.
Is it just me or whichever table I sit on I don’t get served food and always starve waiting for food to get to me, while all the tables around me get food and were merry.
Whether I sit close to the serving table or at the centre (where everybody sees me) and worst at the end; the story still ends the same. When it finally almost gets to me, ‘Sorry we are out of meat.’ Arhhhhh! Like how? So to save my family name and keep the tiny dignity I possess, I control myself from snatching the plates of food that pass by my table when I am told to be patient. I have eaten loads of patience to lose it.
Maybe my face shows a sign well fed, avoid her. I will keep raising my hand to show I didn’t get food and this one lady nods and wriggles her hands at me indicating ‘I will get you a plate’ and never does.
#My first motto for weddings was “ALWAYS EAT BEFORE GOING FOR WEDDINGS” After other experiences where my time was spent lavishly with no achievements at the end of the day I came up with the second wedding motto “DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME, ATTEND ONLY THE WEDDING CEREMONY AND LEAVE“. Life has been blissful since then.
I read through this insightful post 
and it made me recollect a few of these experiences.
BAD EXPERIENCE NUMBER ONE
The wedding ceremony was so beautiful with the sermon that had me writing notes. The bride and groom were so chummy and cute that I fell in love with love over again then came the reception; I went very early to a small hall that barely held the people seated in it as it was so small.
I was with my mum and we sat at a very strategic position (by my choosing of course) that will ensure I will be fed while the bride and groom play games in raising their shoes at who did what first leading to their union.
The groom's mother was in charge of food with her friends.
BAD EXPERIENCE NUMBER TWO
This experience had the bride crying at her wedding. Nah! Not tears of joy, it was the opposite.
A wedding set to begin by 8 am had not yet begun at 10 am. I was surprised because that was a different ball game at the catholic church. The mass will begin without the bride and in all cases she meets the sermon.
The pastor threatened to cancel the wedding if the bride failed to arrive in the next 10 minutes. We were anxious. I was worried for my friend the bride wondering what could be holding her.
I breathe a sigh of relief as she got to her wedding at 10:30 am. That was not the disaster.
The already aggravated leading pastor pointed out that she wore a see-through netty top part of her wedding gown which for me was not bad because it was not showing cleavage but the pastor refused to wed them until she covers up.
Guess what the bride was covered with? A wrapper! Yes, you heard me, a multi-colored fabric that was not white wrapped around her body as though preventing cold. The pastor didn't stop at that but bickered on and on about her lateness and her indecent outfit trying to justify his actions. The bride was sad through it all. You can only imagine the pictures taken at the wedding.
Her mum was livid as she dragged the wrapper off her daughter's back when she processed past her after the wedding vows were exchanged and the pastor ran to get it from the bride's mother to cover the bride's shoulder.
She was embarrassed, sad, broken and almost unconsolable after the wedding ceremony. She eventually got over it and was all smiles for the pictures afterward.
All is well that ends well right?
Thanks for stopping by 💕
®️Whitney Alexander
