There's this trend that has been on the Twitter Platform for some days now. Something like coursemate to coursemate, friend to friend e.t.c. There was one that really resonated with me. It was tagged ‘former gifted child to former gifted child’.
I used to think I was a gifted child. And maybe I was. Because when I was younger, I was quite famous amongst my family and acquaintances. I was known as this smart kid who was outspoken, who knew how to read quite well and was intelligent. When I was four, I was given a very complex speech to read at a church gathering and I did excellently well. I was sprayed money, given a standing ovation and I revelled in the attention I got. It was one of the best times of my life.
Getting to primary school, I excelled in academics. Naturally, I kind of liked studying (still do), and it was sort of easy to assimilate things, so I easily breezed through my exams and tests. I was always among the top three in my class. In church, I always volunteered to memorize and recite bible verses. I would turn up for Bible quizzes, dance contests, drama and all that. So, my parents and other people who knew me called me a gifted child. They were always proud of me. And they expected me to keep being the best wherever I went. Not to lie, I expected it.
Then, I got to secondary school. My secondary school was a federal government girls college in Abuja. This meant different girls from across Nigeria could attend the school. It was just like putting people from different races in a particular place. I was overwhelmed at first, at the sight of so many many girls. And the anxiety of not knowing how good they were got to me. But, I pushed it down. I was going to excel here like I have always done. I thought to myself.
After my first term in school, I was in for a shocker. For the first time in my life, I wasn't among the top ten in my class. I cried, crude and crode. How was i going to explain this to all the people who had high expectations of me? When I reflect on this time of my life, I always realize my Achilles heel. The thing is I expected things to come easy like always. I didn't put effort or enough hardwork like I should have. I wasn't disciplined and really didn't have any structure in my academic work. Yes, I was intelligent but that effort was needed also, which I didn't give. I was used to putting in the barest minimum and still getting good results. I was so laid-back and relaxed, thinking it would be as always. I didn't burn the midnight candle. I didn't even know there would be so many competitors for the top and that was where I was shocked. In secondary school, it was a total power struggle. No one wanted to be the last, so everyone was putting in the work. Everyone was determined. I felt completely out of my comfort zone.
In the following years, I struggled to gain ground. I joined the power struggle. For the first time, I was tasked and taxed. I needed my will, strength and determination to make it to the top and for the few times that I was among the top three, it was a much needed reward. Somehow, my parents knew I was struggling. Thankfully, they were somewhat understanding that the school I was in wasn't my typical comfort zone. They wanted and expected more but they were subtle in their ways of asking. Lesson teachers were employed, summer coaching was attended and that was how I was able to gain a little momentum.
Getting to university, I carried my mindset from secondary school. Though I realize that most people are just more interested in getting a good degree and getting the hell out of school, I still have an inner power tussle with myself to do my utmost best. I'm not relaxed or laid-back anymore. There's a sort of discipline and structure that has been imbedded in me now. So, I learn to start early, drill myself harder, burn daylight hours, and fight my way to where I want to be. It's still a tough journey and I'm still a huge craver of academic validation.
Well, stepping out of my comfort zone made me realize that life wasn't going to bend to my will. Life wasn't this comfort protective bubble my parents had created around me. Life didn't revolve around me and if I didn't work hard enough or didn't put in enough required efforts, I would be beaten and worn down by the storms of life. It made me realize that people weren’t going to put themselves down, just so I could rise. Your barest minimum isn't going to get you anywhere. The world does not accept it. It wants your best efforts.
It made me realize that everything is a tussle and struggle and nothing good truly comes easy, so you have to claw and fight your way up. It also taught me that even when I am pressured to push myself to the breaking limits, there is love at home and I can always run back to my comfort zone to rest for a while before going again.
The phrase ‘what doesn't kill you makes you stronger’ is not for me. It could leave you injured or broken. So, go home and rest till you figure out a way to kill the thing first.
Ohh, and don't forget that you are still gifted.
This is from a former gifted child to a former gifted child.
Thumbnail is mine
