There was a lady I spoke to sometime ago about her relationship with her then boyfriend, Bee. He was an up-and-coming artist in our school and was quite popular because of his engagement in multiple activities within the school. Politics, sports, and all forms of extracurricular activities, he was always at the front. He was quite popular with the ladies because he has the physique. And, he had some money too.
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I wasn’t close to him to know his ways, however, I saw his real self through the lens of his then girlfriend, a very beautiful, brown-skinned lady with a small business that had the potential of growing bigger than her imaginations, if she hadn’t quit. She was doing quite well in her studies also. I used to admire her strength and persistence because that’s what a lot of us lack. At some point, I wanted to be a friend, but for some reasons, I pulled back and just wished her well all the way.
One day, while I was making spaghetti in front of my room, one of my male friends walked in with a stranger. When I looked up, I saw the beautiful Zanny that I’ve admired from afar right inside my hostel with eyes sunken-red from tears. I asked my friend what happened, and he said, “it’s a long story”. Quickly, I rounded off my cooking and sat with them.
First, it was important that she stopped crying because she couldn’t talk. But the moment she opened her mouth, she said, “her business was wrecked”. How? Her boyfriend called all her customers and warned them off so they could never patronize her again. Her business was male wears and fits sales, and who would her clients be if not men?
As if that wasn’t enough. He promised to open another business for her, which he defaulted. Also, her academics was lacking badly because he wouldn’t let her study well as much as she used to. Oh, did I mention that she had move in with him on his command? Her former hostel was also rented out, and he was the one in charge of receiving payment for the house.
She narrated all these in tears, and all I could do was sigh. I allowed her cry to her fill before she continued.
He wouldn’t let her own anything, nor would he gift her to an extent of having excess. As if that wasn’t enough, he had a lot of women on the side, even outside the country. One day, one of his sides visited, and on his command, she slept in one of his friend’s rooms with the friend also around. The side spent a week, and because she had no place to go, she had to put up with his friend for that long.
At some point, they ran out of foodstuff, and on his command, she travelled home to her parents for food. Of course, she was in school, and her parents knew she would need food. On her return from home, he would demand for the money she got from home, and the cycle continued.
She was at my place because she needed a way to make her man see that she loved him so much and would never do anything to hurt him and would never break his heart. She just needed him to show her some love, and that was fine with her.
I was angry at first, but with her last statement, I felt weak. This was a woman that was losing her mind and her entire self is a mess, yet she wanted to convince the guy she loved him. What exactly happened to the vibrant young lady I admired some time ago? It was then I realized that toxic relationships apart from messing with your mind, will make you so useless to yourself. It would convince you that you can’t find anything or anyone better if you leave the toxic love.
This is my entry to InLeo prompt for today.