Sibling Rivalry Unveiled!!!

Sibling rivalry can be an ugly situation, one no one expects to be in such a mess because of the strong bond among them. Siblings share the same blood from parents and they ought to love and cooperate. No parents would want to see their children going against each other but to love and stay united because this act keeps the family stronger.

I grew up watching my late Grandmother preach about love and unity among her children and when there was any misunderstanding, she tried her best to bring them together so they could resolve any issues they had with themselves. With her being a third party and an advocate in their midst, there was peace in the home and it was something I learnt from her before she died.

My siblings and I are already adults and every time, we talk to each other, using our aunts and uncles as an example of how they fight over little and big issues, we try not to let ours be like that but to always make sure we settle any rivalry with each other. Even when we have a misunderstanding, we settle it amicably amongst ourselves that day without letting the heat extend to the next day.

So far, we haven't had any heated arguments that could cause us to turn our backs on each other but I have seen a case which I never believed could happen because it is something I watch only in movies, seeing it occur in reality and one I saw myself was something that got me overwhelmed and wished such never happened between them. Today, the hatred is still present in their lives and they find it hard to let go.

You see, there are factors surrounding sibling rivalry and it is something that needs to be looked into and resolved. Factors like a parent's love for one child over the other. This, I call partial love — this is a situation where a parent's love is evident only on one child more than the other and this, when they grow up affects siblings. Some parent out of their ignorance turn their children's backs against each other and they start to run helter-skelter trying to make love and unity become a priority as it would be too late for them except for some divine and strong intervention.

While I was still in secondary school there was a case of two siblings who were living in our compound. The younger sister was loved by the father while the elder was loved by the mother. Every time they are seen, each child will move closer to the parent who loved them and this continued till the father had an accident, and was severely sick which led to his death. A few weeks later, the one loved by the mother enjoyed more than the one loved by the father because the one who was supposed to love her was dead. Many times, the younger sister would be alone outside while thinking and crying and the mother never bothered about it.

This situation made her hate her sister so much that every morning, they would start fighting in the house which would make the neighbours come to settle their fight as the mother's strength wasn't capable of handling them. This continued for another year before they relocated to another town. I was able to get more gist from a friend who was closer to the family and till now, they still haven't settled on what is happening between them.

I believe the mother would be tired of this and would have tried her best after realising the cause of the rivalry between them. Perhaps this could have been managed before the death of the man but out of ignorance and thinking they were doing the right thing and continued showing partial love which shouldn't be so.

Parents need not show too much love to a child more than the other because they are the same and should be treated the same way. When this happens, it creates a division among the children and they will grow up to develop hatred because of jealousy shown out of such treatment.

Most times, parents are the cause of sibling rivalry and they should be able to show genuine love to everyone irrespective of their condition. No child should be ignored but to embrace love while teaching them the value of love, cooperation and unity among themselves which when practised would foster stronger bonds in the family which they would grow up to accept themselves as blood and from the same parents.

May Inleo Monthly Calendar