Image Source
I make sure to remind myself that I was going to be conscious of how I raise my kids to be independent, believe in themselves, be confident in themselves and their decision-making, and love themselves more and that is because I had a father who taught me well.
I am a product of a father who believed in me, gave me the push, and advice but allowed me to always decide my life by myself, all he did was support me, be my cheerleader, and give me a pat that meant a whole lot to me more than you can imagine and I am the independent, self-proud, confident, brave and smart lady because my late father saw that I could believe in me, encouraged me, spoke or advice me and allowed me to fly.
When my extension and responsibilities, I was handed over the sit of the family as a firstborn child, I can proudly say I did my best and a great job to the best of my knowledge in making sure my younger ones got that same training from me and although my mom never believed in my system, she stood and watched her children fly and tried to do their best even at a very young age.
My secondary was a big shot back then, we had children from mostly the middle class and high class, and because it was a mixed school, I was opportune to meet different kids like myself with different parent issues, that got me in awe because I was sure as hell not experiencing such from my parents and honestly, I gave a few the boldness to take the step against their parents because it was their life and because I was given that liberty, I felt all the kids should be as well.
I had a particular Igbo friend whose father had a big company and expected him to come take over from him as the only son, so a particular course of study was chosen for him so that at the end of the day, he would be groom for the position in his father's establishment even when he wasn't doing well in those subjects and had a different plan for himself.
Image Source
I, on the other hand, had a father who told me "It is your life, so your choice, I will support you but whatever choice you make, you have to be responsible for it and have to make me proud and not make my money go to a waste" I sat before him and gave him the list of subjects I loved and he helped me search for careers that I could likely go for with those subjects and if they are careers I love for myself or would see myself.
Whenever I had difficulty with a particular subject, I went to him for moral support and to tell him about my challenges and what I could do with a lesson teacher, especially subjects like mathematics, and he of course gave me the go-ahead to search for a good lesson teacher base on the subjects I need help with and I did that and I came out better.
Having parents who let you make your choice especially when it comes to one's life and career, while they sit in the background and give you advice and support is a big flex. I had such parents, my father specifically and I am not sure that I would not want my kids eventually, to have such a life.
Many kids with low self-esteem, who lack self-confidence, don't believe in themselves and constantly struggle with deciding for themselves as a result of parents who constantly talk down on their children and don't believe their children. It puts these kids in a state of confusion and not believing in themselves and their decisions.