Personally, I'd rather help when I'm in the position too and also create boundaries to avoid the person taking it for granted and turning me into a mugu.
If you ask me the point where I find it necessary to set boundaries and turn a person down for financial needs, I will say when the person is trying to be entitled to me and feels too big to appreciate my little efforts.
I totally understand the fact that if you want to help a person, you should always help without expecting anything in return. But there are some people that are really annoying. It only takes a person with a heart of gold to help you in this era where everything looks so hard. If anyone helps you in this hard time, that's love.
Some people are so funny. There was this day I was having my last money with me, and then a person texted me to ask for help financially that she hasn't eaten since in the morning. And I was about to use that money to sort out some personal needs that were urgent.
But then, I didn't want to keep her staving since she said she hasn't had anything since morning and wasn't being able to eat a night before that day because she was not having money on her.
I had pity on her because I know how hard it can be on students in most cases. Days when you don't have anything and you just have this belief that God will definitely do something
It came up at the wrong timing because it was towards the end of the month, which always turns out to be a period where you become broke and cashless. I eventually later gave her the last money I had on me so that she could at least get something to eat and take care of herself.
I sent the money to her, and she didn't even say anything about it till the 4th day when I texted her, "Did you see the money I sent to you?" And then she replied, Yes, I did, thanks. I was so pissed and wished I could go reverse the transfer I made to her.
I felt so angry in me and blamed myself so badly for sending her the money on that day. Because I first felt like I sent it to the wrong account when I didn't hear from her. I had to cross-check the account I sent it to several times, thinking I sent it to the wrong person.
I started creating excuses for her that probably something happened after then or something. Because I couldn't just imagine why she felt so big to say thank you. Probably she was expecting something bigger. Abi was 10k not enough for her to sort out something she needed for herself? Didn't I try my best?
Ever since that day, I've drawn a big line that sets boundaries and turns down people like her who need my financial help. Because why feel inferior to someone else's money? Such an entitled mentality that got me thinking so hard and left me on a "Na me fuck up moment."
If I ever help you, and you feel so entitled to my money, that will be the last time you ever see me come through for you. Appreciate people's efforts genuinely without feeling like you earned it. It's really hard to see people come through for you in your lowest time these days.
Be thankful for the little you receive from people and appreciate them well for being an amazing person. It's even for your good at the end of the day. because they end up turning up for you again when you're in need of their help.
Thank you for taking the time to go through my content, and I hope it was worth it, and I also hope you've learned lots of lessons from the community's weekly prompt. This post is in response to the #Hivenaija weekly contest, edition 67.