Giving is something that should come from the heart and not be forced
That being said, never allow anybody to feel entitled to your hard-earned money be you whoever, whether family or friends, the moment you allow it, then you are in for a roller coaster
Let me give you, my honorable people, an insight into what I am talking about.
I have a friend who helped me out once when I needed help back then in school; I am someone who shows gratitude whenever someone does something nice for me.
I like returning favors from my heart, no matter how little it's. Maybe it is my kind of person, but never take a grateful heart for granted because it won't be funny if the person changes.
So after school, before service year, I got a job, and the pay was a little bit nice for the economy, compared to this present economy. So my friend had no job, but she had a handwork but refused to use it. I didn't bother about it cause why should I, is her life.
One day, she called me to say that she needed some amount of money to buy drugs as she was sick. So, I gave her the exact amount she requested. She didn't call me to acknowledge the money; I thought she had not received it, and I had to call her to find out, and she told me that she had received it. I was very angry but controlled myself; I then asked her why she didn't call me to acknowledge it. She said that she doesn't have airtime.
Source
I let it slide for that day; the next time, two months later, she called me again for financial help with the excuse that her mother's health had deteriorated this time around. I was touched, but I didn't have the amount she was mentioning at that time, so I told her I didn't have the exact amount but could still give her something reasonable.
She said ok, I sent what I have for her, same thing, she didn't call or even send a message to acknowledge it. I had to call again before she said that she had gotten it, and I had to ask if she hadn't received it. She said that she had, so I asked her why she hadn't even called or texted that she had seen it. Again she came up with the same excuse of no airtime.
Fast forward to some months later, an opportunity came for a vacancy in my company; I called her to come for an interview, and Instead of her coming for the interview, she sent another person to come; she even called me to say that she sent someone else.
At first, I couldn't understand why someone who was looking for money for the mother's health issue would reject a job and even send someone else. I later called her to find out why she rejected the job, what she answered me, made me to set a boundary to giving to her immediately.
Because why not, she told me that the job fits us, abeg she can't do our kind of job, she doesn't like stress at all. I ask her what is stressful about my work. I don't work on Saturdays and Sundays, even on weekdays; I close by 2 pm, saying my work na people wey the suffer dey work am not for her; she didn't come to suffer. She later asked me for money that same month, and I said that I didn't have and she said ordinary 4k na she dey ask me, is not like is even 10k.
She even went to complain to our friends that ordinary 4k I couldn't give her upon say dey don pay me, and I no even get whom I dey pay school fees for. That's when I knew that entailment had entered, and I had to stop it at once.
For me, I love giving, but I think you should set your boundaries when entailment starts, and when the demand becomes too much, forget what people will say; it's your hustle.
Stop giving immediately cause they will still ask you how much do you give them self
Thank you for stopping by my blog.