Image is mine
I have since learned the hard way that not everyone who wants help actually needs help. Some people are just users and with such people, it should be once bitten twice shy.
The fact that I helped someone and they take it for granted doesn't mean I still won't go out of my way to help someone else, I just won't help that particular person who spat on my face.
Over the years, I have had close friends borrow money and not want to pay back. Usually, that is the end of such friendship after I have collected my money back.
Noticing that some humans can be mischievous, I have since stopped borrowing or loaning out money that I cannot afford to lose.
If any of my friend comes to ask for my assistance financially, let's say that they require fifty thousand Naira, I would give them at most twenty thousand Naira.
If they did refund the money, fine, but if they don't, they are never getting any financial help from me again.
Then we have the ones who would ghost you, but suddenly claim friendship when they are stranded and in need of help.
That's how a former course mate that I have not spoken to in years came and was asking me to borrow her money to pay her children's school fees.
There was no form of formality, not even a “how have you been…”
Next after I said hello was, “can you please loan me some money to pay my children's school fees? I will pay back next week when I load petrol at the filling station”.
Lol, what if I was ill? Does that not matter???
Few days ago a supposed friend called me by past 10pm. Nobody calls me by that time, I draw the line at 8pm. So I thought that for him to call, then it's quite urgent. I picked up and he started telling me how he required some help and it's not big money.
I just chuckled in my head because even if it's a few coins, I will never part with for his sake. Not only that, but I told him off and he wanted to play the emotional blackmail card, but I wasn't having it.
This is the same person earlier this year, who told me that he was at the hospital for an appendicitis operation.
He went further to seek my help financially, stating that he requires a hundred thousand Naira to complete his down payment. Otherwise, the doctors won’t operate on him and he’s in excruciating pain.
At the time he called, I was unemployed and broke. I also needed help financially too, but I went out of my way to start begging people for money, citing his medical condition. Some of my friends turned up and others just gave fake promises.
I was able to realize fifty thousand Naira of which I sent to him, but he kept pestering me to make it up to a hundred, fake crying that he doesn’t want to die.
No problem, I will see what else I can do, I said to him. But then something happened, he called on video call and boy, he doesn’t look like one who's in excruciating pain or about being rolled in for surgery.
I looked at his surroundings, the bed frame does not look like that of a hospital. I would rather not judge too quickly because often times, I have been tagged with being insensitive towards another person’s plight even when eventually my hunch turns out to be right.
He did promise to pay me back the money the following week, as that's when his wife would send him some money. Regardless, I did what I did because I thought I was helping to save a friend. Later on, when he didn't hear from me for the balance fifty thousand Naira, he started harassing me with endless calls.
When I eventually picked up, he wasn't aware and I could hear him lamenting to someone that they will confiscate his car if he doesn't pay up for all the drink he consumed last night at the club plus his hotel bill.
I added one and two together, and then everything made sense. He was calling me from the hotel and not from any hospital. The thought that he lied with his health to get me to fund his irresponsibility really did piss me off and that was where I drew the line for him. It should be worthy to note that he never paid back that fifty thousand Naira as he said he would.