Financial security or endless love… Hmm, when I saw the prompt on today's #septemberinleo, I had a good laugh but then when I wanted to start writing on it, guess who's not laughing anymore?
That's right, me. I quickly took a trip down memory lane and then started questioning myself because I am an overthinker, and every so often I overthink things. What if it's endless love without financial security and then it's financial security without endless love? Which will I choose? It's not an easy choice anymore, right? Ok, let's keep going….
There was a time I posted a word picture on my WhatsApp status. The words were written, a man who shows you love, care and gives you attention, but he's broke vs. a man who barely has your time but gives you money.
I had plenty of women picking the latter, some were even screaming who love help. It was now as if I am the softie.
I do not know these women's story, but I knew they were responding from a place of hurt and betrayal of which My former BFF proved me right with her response. Let us call her Susan.
Susan said she'll pick money over love. She went further to ask, who love help? I was shocked because she used to believe so much in love until her last relationship crashed.
It even hurt her more because she invested heavily in the relationship, even going as far as to paying One hundred thousand Naira for the man's car repair. She was literally responsible for the man financially more than the man was for her.
When they were still together, I remembered her saying to me one evening, "Ese, this is my last relationship and it must lead to marriage." Quite unfortunate for her she got dumped, and her ex cited that she's a Northern, and he's Yoruba. According to him, his family would not approve.
I understood my friend's plight and told her that the man we pick, depends on what is more important to us at every time of our lives. Again, the living conditions we find ourselves in is a major determinant in choosing a partner.
Personally, I am heavy on respect. No matter how wealthy a man is, once he starts disrespecting me, I am ending the relationship.
I remember breaking up with my ex because he refused to wish me a happy birthday, instead he was being narcissistic and told me that he collapsed at work. Later on, he admitted it him collapsing at work was only a lie to see my reaction.
This same Ex will purposely ignore me, no calls, no text and when I complained, he will tell me he loves being chased.
At a point, I got really frustrated and ended things. There was financial security, but I did not have peace of mind or was it when he lied to me, he has Leukemia? He's always putting me in panic mode, and that birthday of mine was the last straw that broke the Carmel's back.
Few days to my birthday, he sent me some money, a massive sum but that can never replace him celebrating me and making me feel loved on my special day.
After the break up, I told my then BFF about it and she shouted, eh? How can you break up with a man who gives you so much money?
I smiled and told her that as much as I love money and want my man to spoil me with it, I cannot sacrifice my happiness in the altar of wealth.
Few days ago I was telling my best girl that love is not hurt and definitely love is not pain. Quite unfortunate that is how love is perceived by most people. I went further to tell her, who loves you will not condition you, they will not disrespect you and definitely they will not tension you.
In all, will I pick love over financial security? Absolutely not.
You know, there's a saying that when poverty comes through the door, love will fly out the window.
Davido sang, love is sweet but when there is money, love is sweeter.
Love alone will not put food on our table, love will also not pay the bills. Thus, it is on these grounds that I am going with a touch of both love and financial security.
Above is my response to the inleo prompt for September, you can participate HERE
Image is mine