Buen día, amigos de Hive. Los saludo con alegría, porque tenemos un nuevo día de vida. Un regalo precioso por el cual debemos dar gracias; debemos aprovecharlo y valorar. El viernes pasado estuve en una funeraria, acompañando a una amiga que perdió a un familiar en la muerte. Estando allí, me percaté de algunas cosas que hoy deseo compartir con ustedes. Espero que puedan leer esta experiencia.
Good morning, friends of Hive. I greet you with joy, for we have a new day of life. A precious gift for which we should give thanks; we should take advantage of it and cherish it. Last Friday I was at a funeral home, accompanying a friend who lost a family member in death. While there, I noticed some things that I wish to share with you today. I hope you can read this experience.
El pasado viernes, recibí la llamada de una amiga. Al preguntarle cómo estaba me dijo que no muy bien. De pronto soltó el llanto, me asusté muchísimo y enseguida le pregunté qué pasaba; ella no podía hablar, pero en un momento que pudo tomar aire me comentó que su hermano había fallecido. La verdad que en esas ocasiones, es muy difícil dar una palabra de aliento y menos cuando es por teléfono.
Le pregunté que si estaba sola y me contestó que no, eso me alivio un poco porque en medio de un dolor tan fuerte, los dolientes deben estar acompañados. Mi amiga está aquí en Venezuela y su hermano que falleció también; pero otro de sus hermanos se encuentra en Argentina y con él, ninguno se atrevía a hablar.
Last Friday, I received a call from a friend. When I asked her how she was doing, she told me that she was not very well. Suddenly she started crying, I was very scared and immediately asked her what was wrong; she could not speak, but when she could catch her breath she told me that her brother had passed away. The truth is that on those occasions, it is very difficult to give a word of encouragement and even less so when it is over the phone.
I asked her if she was alone and she answered that she was not, that relieved me a little because in the midst of such a strong pain, the mourners must be accompanied. My friend is here in Venezuela and her brother who died also; but another of her brothers is in Argentina and with him, none of them dared to talk.
Hace muchos años que se fue de Venezuela, por la crisis económica. Y aunque estaba al tanto de que su hermano, quién no llegaba a cuarenta años; estaba enfermo, lo menos que se esperaba era que la última vez que vería a su hermano, sería en un ataúd, mediante una videollamada.
En la tarde del viernes, me fui a la funeraria a acompañar a mi amiga; cuando llegué, solo habían tres personas. Esto me rompió el corazón. La funeraria se veía más grande y el dolor se percibía a distancia. A penas entré, abracé a mi amiga, quién ya estaba exhausta de tanto llorar. A decir verdad, no tenía idea de que decirle, así que me limité a abrazarla y a quedarme sentada a su lado.
El hermano de mi amiga que falleció, tenía cáncer; pero nadie esperaba que muriera tan rápido. De hecho, ese mismo día en la mañana, le habían realizado unos estudios muy costosos para determinar que tratamiento enviarle. No obstante, comenzó con un dolor muy intenso y en unas horas murió. Mi amiga lo único que me decía, era que no había podido llegar al hospital para verlo porque el transporte se tardó mucho. Repetía constantemente: "No llegué" y comenzaba a llorar.
She left Venezuela many years ago because of the economic crisis. And although she was aware that her brother, who was not even forty years old, was sick, the least she expected was that her last memory would be to see her brother in a coffin, through a video call.
On Friday afternoon, I went to the funeral home to accompany my friend; when I arrived there were only three people. This broke my heart. The funeral home looked bigger and the grief could be felt from a distance. As soon as I entered, I hugged my friend, who was already exhausted from crying. To tell the truth, I had no idea what to say to her, so I just hugged her and sat next to her.
My friend's brother who passed away had cancer, but no one expected him to die so quickly. In fact, earlier that day, he had undergone some very expensive tests to determine what treatment to send him. However, she started with severe pain and in a few hours she died. All my friend kept telling me was that she had not been able to get to the hospital to see him because the transport took too long. She kept repeating, "I didn't make it" and started to cry.
Le mencioné que no había sido su culpa, ella traía el dinero para trasladarlo a un hospital más grande en una ambulancia, pero lamentablemente ese dinero lo tuvo que utilizar para los servicios funerarios. Una muerte tan repentina, causa muchos estragos emocionales. La muerte de por sí, es muy dolorosa, pero en casos en donde se presenta tan veloz es más impactante.
Estando sentada al lado de mi amiga, veo que la llaman constantemente, pero ella colgaba las llamadas una y otra vez. No quise preguntar quién era, porque no me gusta ser imprudente y menos en un momento así. Tanto la llamaron, que ella terminó diciéndome que era su otro hermano, que estaba en Argentina. Al enterarse de la muerte de su hermano, deseó verlo en el féretro; ella no se sentía con fuerzas para realizar esa videollamada que su hermano estaba solicitando. Incluso, sentí que le parecía descabellado.
I mentioned to her that it was not her fault, she had brought the money to take him to a larger hospital in an ambulance, but unfortunately that money had to be used for funeral services. Such a sudden death causes a lot of emotional havoc. Death in itself is very painful, but in cases where it happens so quickly, it is even more shocking.
Sitting next to my friend, I saw that she was constantly being called, but she hung up the calls over and over again. I didn't want to ask who it was, because I don't like to be reckless, especially at a time like this. They called her so much that she ended up telling me it was her other brother, who was in Argentina. When she heard about her brother's death, she wanted to see him at the coffin; she did not feel strong enough to make the video call that her brother was requesting. I even felt it seemed far-fetched to her.
Al escucharla, me conmoví mucho, porque comencé a imaginar cómo podría estar sintiéndose su hermano, allá en Argentina. Tan lejos, sin siquiera tener para tomar un vuelo y llegar hasta aquí, para estar con su familia. Yo siempre he pensado que cada quien es libre de manifestar su dolor como lo desee, ya que todos somos diferentes y el duelo cada persona lo lleva de una manera diferente. Por esa razón, me parecía que debían hacer lo que estaba pidiendo su hermano desde Argentina. Sin embargo, no mencioné nada.
Al cabo de unas horas, se apareció otro hermano de mi amiga con la videollamada; había cedido a la petición de su hermano que estaba lejos y le mostró el féretro abierto a su hermano. El llanto era demasiado fuerte, todos los que estaban presentes sentimos su dolor. Realmente fue un momento demasiado triste; pero desde mi punto de vista era necesario para que el muchacho pudiera asimilar un poco la perdida de su hermano.
Quizás muchas personas no estén de acuerdo con que se haga esto, de hecho algunos sostienen que debemos recordar a nuestros seres queridos como eran en vida; eso está bien. No obstante, recordemos que todos somos diferentes, ante una tragedia de tal magnitud, cualquier reacción es válida. Por lo tanto, respetemos las decisiones de los dolientes.
Listening to her, I was very moved, because I began to imagine how her brother might be feeling, back in Argentina. So far away, without even having the means to take a flight to get here to be with his family. I have always thought that everyone is free to express their grief as they wish, since we are all different and each person grieves in a different way. For that reason, it seemed to me that they should do what his brother was asking from Argentina. However, I did not mention anything.
After a few hours, another brother of my friend showed up with the video call; he had given in to the request of his brother who was far away and showed the open casket to his brother. The crying was too loud, all of us who were present felt her pain. It was really too sad a moment; but from my point of view it was necessary so that the boy could assimilate a little the loss of his brother.
Perhaps many people do not agree with this being done, in fact some argue that we should remember our loved ones as they were in life; that is fine. However, let us remember that we are all different, in the face of a tragedy of such magnitude, any reaction is valid. Therefore, let us respect the decisions of the mourners.
