Friendship to me is commitment, loyalty, and sacrifice. As friends, we have to learn to trust, to forgive, to let go, to be sacrificial. Friendship should not be one-sided or conditional. When friendship is unconditional and mutual it tends to last long because it is a healthy relationship.
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I don't have a lot of friends but the few friends that I have I am sure our relationship is mutual and not one-sided. If someone doesn't want to be my friend, I wouldn't force that friendship. For me to have you as a friend, you have to want to be my friend. And that's on period.
Let me tell you a story about an unhealthy friendship I had to cut off.
This happened when i was in the university. I had a roommate then, she was a kind person, bubbly, cheerful, and had a big heart. In our first semester in our final year, she decided to take in her friend, she was her coursemate and she was homeless at that time. She talked to me about it and I agreed. This girl came to stay with us and she was very lively and naturally, I became her friend.
So, the three of us were friends. Her friend only contributes to feeding expenses. My roommate and I didn't stress her for money. We paid the electricity bills, water bills, cleaning bills, and every other hostel expense ourselves.
We resumed the second semester and I found out my roommate and her friend were not talking.
I don't know what caused the issue between my roommate and her friend, they stopped being friends. I asked my roommate what was going on and she explained to me that she didn't have any idea why she was keeping malice with her.
I called her friend and asked the same question and she said she just wanted to stop being friends with her and that she was not feeling the friendship anymore.
She started walking with the other coursemate who disliked my roommate. Started backbiting and gossiping about my roommate.
My roommate was pained, she was even crying because she loved her friend so much that she was deeply hurt.
My roommate did a lot for this girl, I'm not gonna lie, she took her in for the whole sophomore year and she cared for her, she always had her back. I couldn't pinpoint the cause of this fallout, but I felt like my roommate was betrayed.
In short, we graduated from uni and we were prepared to move out. I called her and told her that her stuff was still in her hostel she told me she would come to take it when my roommate left. After my roommate packed I called her friend and she told me she would be unable to come, and I should give her belongings to her friend. I declined and I opted to keep her belongings in my hostel and tell my hostel keeper that she would be coming to take her belongings soon.
Cause, there’s no how I want to carry your stuff to your friend's place, first of all, you don't deserve my help, second of all, my apartment was on the third floor in a two-storey building without an elevator and you expect me to carry your load around for you? Who the hell are you?
She didn't call me again until after five months requesting her belongings. I told her I left it in the hostel and she should check in with the housekeeper and if she's lucky the hostel keeper will help her keep her load. She started shouting and telling me she needed her stuff, her clothes, are sister’s clothes, her expensive laces and stuff. I was so irritated and I shouted back I told her not to call my phone again, I told her how ungrateful she was, and if she really needed her stuff she would come early to pick it up.
The fact that she felt entitled was so annoying, I told her I was not her friend cause I couldn't be friends with someone as ungrateful as you and so immature and toxic, no matter how valuable our possessions were, it is not my business, don't expect loyalty from me cause we are not friends.
I'm not sure I handle the situation well but all I know is that she has parasitic behavior and parasites are meant to be getting rid of.
Friendship is a really big word and should be reserved for someone who really deserves it and your acquaintances are not your friends, friendship is way deeper than that.
Thanks for reading, and have a fabulous week 💕
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