So I had this insight, which is that happiness comes from inside yourself and that nothing, absolutely nothing, external can make you happy in the long run, and the only reason for that happiness is attachment, i.e., the suffering you've been through to get it.
I hope I am sort of wrong, but in a way I find this congruent and right with my experience.
Why do you find it depressing? I think it can be a really liberating insight to realise that you can shape your own happiness instead of having it dependent on external factors.
However, I found that it means the world can't give you happiness; you've got to put in the work; there is no free happy meal. What I'm very attached to are hobbies, things that make me happy. But I've found with meditation that they don't make me happy, but they cause the factors for it to arise inside of me.
It can be hard because the insight is different from what most of us have been taught. We often like to think that a lot of money and a big house make you happy. But when we reach that, we often find out that it doesn't make you happy at all and makes you want to make more money or even buy a bigger house. It's a never-ending story.
It can be depressing, probably because it goes against what 99% of people are conditioned to believe, i.e., material and monetary success won't make me happy. What would be helpful is that instead of focusing on what will not make one happy, we can still look at what can bring everyone fulfilment in life, which is practising gratitude, enjoying the little things, having positive relationships, etc.
From a neurology standpoint, the attachment to hobbies satisfies a dopamine circuit that drives one to seek achievement. Other types of pleasure exist that do not rely on dopamine but rather on being satisfied with what one has and where one is in the moment.
Different people have different tendencies for dopamine-seeking; I happen to be one of the people that seeks out dopamine quite a bit, and I have to learn how to cultivate more of the satisfaction and "here-and-now" pleasure.
It's kinda like a maze. Some people’s mazes are more complicated than others, but if we can just get to the exit (train our mind to get out of its own way), we’ll finally be free.
