What Changed?

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Hello! I had a post before on my private dumpsite about some random questions I found on the internet. I planned to have myself answer it every year and see how much I changed through these questions. Well, that didn't happen haha! I was 26 then... it's all Covid's fault that I was not able to update it. Anyway, let me share those questions with you, as well as my answers today:


1. What would an exact opposite of you be like?

26 > She would be someone who’s not doubtful about herself. Someone who knows what she needs and how to get it. She’s strong and independent not because she has no other choice.

28 > I'm happy to say that I am now the person that my old self thought of as her opposite. Though I still do doubt myself from time to time but not as much as before. Also, in the past few years, I've learned that I was always been strong and independent not because I had no other choice. I could have chosen to give up but I didn't.

Hmm, so now what would my exact opposite be? I think she would be more confident with what she does. And prioritizing herself would be her default mindset when making choices. She will also overcome any challenges with ease because she knows that she's capable of them.


2. What was ruined because it became popular?

26 > Social Media in general? Because a lot of people are canceling each other. It became toxic, political, and all sorts of negative things.

28 > I had no idea that social media could get any worse. Anyway, I would say the color purple. Because when people learn that it's your favorite color they would automatically assume that you're an ARMY (no hate intended). But at the same time, I'm thankful for BTS because now a lot of things come in purple haha borahae 💜


3. What piece of advice that you wish everyone would take to heart?

26 > Being vulnerable does not mean you are weak.

28 > Healing takes time, and it's never linear. You cannot set a date or time for that because the world is cruel, you will always find yourself healing from something. And also, always choose kindness but be smart about it. As I said, the the world is cruel.


4. If you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would it be like?

26 > Medium bungalow house with a huge garden/ farm. It’ll be somewhere cold but you’ll still be able to grow plants. It’ll be an open space layout with plants inside. Furniture that is a mix of neutral and a few bold colors.

28 > Nothing changed, I would still want a medium bungalow house with a huge garden/ farm in a cold area where I could still grow plants. Though I would say I'm leaning towards industrial-designed houses nowadays. Something like this one:


Source: Unsplash | Frankie

The reason why I'm leaning towards this kind of design is that I want to incorporate that art gallery vibe into my space. Like the rawness of the interior combined with wooden furniture and lots of plants. One can only dream of such space haha


5. What event would you like to know the whole and complete truth about?

26 > My mom’s pregnancy. I wanted to know what was her initial reaction when she found out that she was pregnant with me. And what were her struggles during those days?

28 > My parents' lives. I want to know what made them, them. Do they have a different kind of generational curse from mine that they're trying to break? Did they have a hard time raising me? Were they ever disappointed with how I turned out to be? Are they blaming themselves for it? All I have are these questions but I don't know if they'll be open to give me answers.


6. Where is the best place to take a date?

26 > Museum then stay in a café for the rest of the day, getting to know each other.

28 > Museums, it's still the best place for me. Though it would be nice if the person you're going with understands that to appreciate something you have to stare at it for at least 10 mins from every angle haha! I mean how can you just look at a piece for 5 mins and be "okay done" ?? I'm not shitting on anyone but gets? haha


Art by Anna Bautista | Photo by Me


7. What took you way too long to figure out?

26 > That I’m not okay, and will never be.

28 > That things will always get better. I may not understand it now but one day I'll be like "Oh, so that's why it happened." Life is weird. 😐


8. If you could run away from it all and start fresh somewhere new, would you? why?

26 > I will because it’s a chance for me to do things the right way without anybody dragging me down.

28 > Well, it's been a year since I moved out. Congrats, self! I learned a lot about myself and I'm still unlearning some habits. Breaking generational curses, one day at a time.

But, I would still take the chance of running away and starting fresh somewhere. I wanted to know how will my life pan out with this new version of me.


9. What challenging thing/s are you working through these days?

26 > Self-love and not breaking down, a lot.

28 > Well, self-love is a constant challenge for me. Though, I barely break down these days, so that's good. Hmm, maybe another challenge for me would be building a stronger foundation for my faith. It's not easy but I'm getting all the help that I can.


10. What are the things that are surprising about you?

26 > I may talk a lot but I don't fully disclose my thoughts unless you're someone I'm comfortable with. I may not always show it but I do get attached easily and care too deeply.

28 > People tell me that I'm a good listener; have a warm personality that brings them comfort. And that I have some sort of impact on their daily lives because I make things easy for them. This is something that is surprising for me haha gulo amp


11. What was the last dream you can remember about?

26 > My office crush kissed me because he said that’s what I wanted.

28 > My boss/ work BFF finally got the call regarding her job offer. And I was attending to some work-related concerns as the new department head.


12. What do you recently spend a lot of time wondering about?

26 > Me, living somewhere far. Having a simple life and married to a tall curly-haired man with a strong muscular body haha!

28 > The first sentence still applies up to this day but the rest of it, not so much. Now, I wonder more about what else can I do to grow for me to be able to help others.


13. What piece of art has a large impact on you?

26 > Juan Luna’s Spoliarium at the National Museum. I just couldn’t forget the first time I saw it, I stared at it for 30 mins with tears in my eyes. It made me appreciate art and museums more.

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Spoliarium by Juan Luna (1884) | Photo by Me

28 > So far, nothing has beaten Juan Luna's Spoliarium. It actually became a tradition of mine to visit it on my birthday or at least on my birth month. I think I need to start visiting more galleries so that I can be exposed to various art mediums. And maybe with that, I would have more art pieces to list here.


14. What’s the most uncomfortable situation you’ve found yourself in?

26 > Every time a man would share his unwanted dirty thoughts.

28 > Being around men. Especially those who blatantly harass you for no reason and that you can't do anything about it since it's not socially acceptable as "harassment". Ugh, most men are toxic.


15. Are you currently where you want to be in life?

26 > Not precisely, but I hope I’ll be there soon.

28 > The 26-year-old me was probably thinking of living alone and being able to decide for herself. Well, we're here now. But as a 28-year-old, I feel like I'm not where I would want to be in life. I want to achieve financial freedom and live a peaceful life away from the Philippines(?) haha.


16. What’s the worst accident you ever had?

26 > Got caught doing something stupid before my friend's birthday party.

28 > Been categorized as the third party in a relationship and I was not even aware of it. Funny how most of my worst accidents involves men. Is this a sign or something??


17. What is something that someone does that will immediately turn you off?

26 > Assume that I’m on my period whenever I feel irritated, unmotivated, or just mad.

28 > Those who give you motives but won't commit to a relationship. One of the reasons why I stopped using dating apps.


18. What is the thing you gave up on?

26 > Hobbies like painting, drawing, photography, and reading. I just don't have the energy for it.

28 > Hobbies, like the ones I listed before. Not because I had no energy, but it's more of a time constraint now. Since I have a lot of freedom to do things I was not able to rekindle them. 😢


19. What’s the most important thing for you about your work environment?

26 > Respect and teamwork.

28 > Those two plus opportunities for growth and flexible time. I mean the pandemic turned all our lives 360 degrees and we're always faced with challenges we've never thought we'd encountered. So being part of a company that addresses those problems is a must. Because you know that they think more of their people rather than their cash flows.


20. What’s the most difficult thing that you still do every day?

26 > Constantly breaking down while not letting other people know.

28 > Love the person I'm becoming. It's no secret that we are our own worst critics, we just can't stop improving ourselves. And then with the state of our country, the least we can do for ourselves is appreciate life as it is.


That was a lot, I hope whoever reads this realizes that you are not the same person as you were a year ago. Life may constantly throw you lemons, but do know how you handle it is how you will grow. Choose whatever you think puts value in your life. Peace out! <3

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