My Parents Simple Birthday Celebration and Family Bonding At Our Little Farm

September 24, 2023

- Donna Hedges

This recent death incident in my family made me reminisce about good old days with my parents, when my father was still healthy and alive.

I've been living abroad for more than half a decade now, and I couldn't keep myself from reminiscing about the good old days with my family. My last bonding with my immediate family and relatives was at the New Year's 2017 celebration. That was before I embarked on a solo journey to Manila with the hope of finding a job abroad. My roller coaster solo flight in the capital city lasted for almost half a year until luck went on my side. Until then, I considered myself blessed, and I am grateful for that.

On days that I am alone in this new home, a sense of emptiness and longing radiates through my soul. Oftentimes, I can't hold myself back from being emotional. But I am grateful for memories stored in digital spaces. They somehow alleviate the sadness I feel when in a state of loneliness.

The photos that I will be sharing in this post were taken during the last birthday celebration of my parents that I attended, particularly on November 10, 2016. My family told me a few days prior to this occasion that we would spend my mother's birthday at our small farm. I opted to ask for a two-day leave because I was on duty that day. My older brother, a soldier who rarely comes home, had extended his vacation, giving us a chance to spend quality time together. However, because my second-oldest brother was on duty, it was still incomplete.

When my father stopped serving in the military, he bought a small farm 20 minutes away from home for family use exclusively, not for business.

It's spacious. And if we wanted to, we could even construct a small compound for our family. The farm is far from the town's center and schools, so we seldom visit it. It's not an ideal place to build a residential house, probably a vacation house.

My dad has a knack for gardening. He enjoys gardening, therefore this farm has turned into his space for growing various plants and trees. On our farm, he plants a variety of fruits and vegetables that are only for family consumption. We have a lot of fruit during harvest seasons, which we share with our relatives.

Aside from the food that we can harvest from our small farm, it's the best place to unwind and disconnect from technology on weekends and holidays. There is no electricity or network access. So one can disconnect from the digital world and instead engage with nature.

_{Me, chilling on our hammock under tree canopies}

Our father built a small hut in the middle of our farm, so we had a place to stay and cook whenever we wanted to visit the farm. This is something I want to work on once I get enough money for its renovation. I'm not even sure if it still exists, as several typhoons have wreaked havoc on our place over the years. I want to build a bigger vacation house on this farm.

On the 10th of November 2016 was my mother's birthday. Before I traveled to the countryside from the city to attend her simple celebration, I stopped at a bakery to buy some cake and bread. Since my father's birthday was on the 29th of September, I opted to buy one for him too as his post-birthday cake, especially since I wasn't able to attend his birthday celebration. Unexpectedly, when I arrived at the farm, my brother also bought two cakes, so we had more choices of cakes to savor.

I ordered mocha cake for my father and strawberry cake for my mother. Meanwhile, my brother bought two cake rolls with almost the same flavors as mine. I guess we shared the same thoughts that day. Our family is quite big so we need more cakes, lol.

My parents' birthday celebration was simple, with simple foods as well. Our family isn't rich, but not poor either. We have just enough resources to make ends meet. But life's difficulties are inevitable. When there are shortcomings due to unexpected circumstances, our family figures out a way to solve the situation. What are we, after all, anyway?

_{My mother in the middle wearing her floral sleeveless top}

When we are having family gatherings, there isn't a dress code, theme, or whatever. It's like, just go in whatever you are wearing right now. Those kids were busy playing under the scorching sun when they were invited. They all have that freedom to play unlike in our time: home-school/study-do house choirs routine only. Kids are kids, they deserve to play until their skin turns darker 🤣.

_{My grandma in red shirt carrying her two young granddaughters.}

The simple celebration started by singing a birthday song led by my grandmother. She sang the song while carrying a plate of biko instead of the cake, lol. For those who don't know, biko is a traditional Filipino delicacy made from black glutinous rice and coconut milk. It's one of my favorites.

The food was prepared and cooked in our small hut, except for the dessert. It consists of grilled fish, chicken adobo, pansit or rice vermicelli, cooked cassava, biko (black glutinous rice), buko pandan dessert, and the cakes I bought. Just simple food for a simple celebration. It wasn't a party, but rather a family bonding. So food doesn't matter, only to kids, lol.

My little cousin can't wait to eat the cake. Seems like someone was impatient and sliced some cake rolls before the eating part started, lol.

Some ingredients were freshly harvested from our backyard, like the cassava, and young coconut fruits we used to make buko pandan, the green dessert below.

We cooked and chilled gelatin at home, and prepared the dessert at our farm after harvesting some young coconut. This is one of my favorite Filipino desserts during special occasions. Economical and easier to make.

Tuba drinking session is always present when there is a celebration in the Philippines. The men got a place for it. Tuba is a Filipino red wine from coconut, commonly served on different occasions instead of other alcoholic beverages.

_{My oldest sibling wearing black shirt, my father the shirtless one, lol, with my uncle and cousins.}

Bonding came next after eating. While adults were busy chit-chatting and drinking tuba, kids were busy playing around the farm and under tree canopies. Some would climb trees like monkeys, and some would swing on the hammock.

Looking at this photo made me smile. I call these kids yagit as they always look messy when playing under the sun. They are all grown up now, except my nieces and young cousins. Some of them are now studying in college, while some are in high school, and they are taller than me now 🤣.

_{Three are my siblings, two are my niblings, and the rest are my cousins.}

My sister who was just a lady before is now a mother. A lot of changes were made while I was away. And I missed a lot of events as well.

I laughed while looking at this photo. My young cousin actually fell from the hammock that day, haha. You can check the scene at the back. Poor Epen.

My cute niece is playing with my camera. As if she knew how to use it. I wonder how tall she is now. She's a shy type of person, just like her Tita Jane.

I'ma babysitter as always on any occasion, lol.

And look who's also invited to the birthday celebration? This was our newly adopted doggie at that time. She's so naughty. She likes playing and biting the shoes of those she isn't familiar with. She also has her own spot at our farm. I wonder if she's still alive. I am not really into checking my family's pets because we always have new ones. In fact, we have a lot at home. And all I am certain is that, our house is like a small zoological and botanical garden 🤣.

Now it's grandma's time to ride on the hammock. She had her quiet solo time here. Sometimes, I saw her looking lonely, probably missing our grandpa, who passed away a year before that day. It should have been great if he's still alive.

And there she is with her young grandchildren. We are a big family so she has many grandchildren. This is even incomplete. I can imagine if we all are placed in one frame. We need a wider lens. Super wide lens! 🤣.

_{Lola with the yagits, hehe.}

We may not be rich with money, but I know we are rich with love. And it's a blessing to have something I can call, real family and home, which can not be bought by money. I hope we'll have this kind of bonding again. Hopefully next week. (cross-finger).

Even though my father wouldn't be with us anymore, I know he'll be happy seeing us complete again after many years. I should have done this earlier, but things are truly meant to happen. I'm excited to be home again.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart to all who sent their individual donations to my recent post: @wittyzell, @ruffatotmeee, @cindee08, @lhes, @xanreo, @ayane-chan, and to all upvoters. Your help will be useful when I get back home. Thanks.

(All photos are mine)

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