In moments of torment we may 'agree'/'decide'/'create the viewpoint/opinion/intention' internally that we need to change things in our life in specific ways to attempt to make up for what we do not have or to attempt to motivate the changes we really do need in our lives. Often our ideas of what we truly need are missing important details in their construction and this can lead us to mistakenly think we need to change something that - in truth - is not the change we truly need and require.
As a further effect of our imbalanced/faulty logic, our own 'character'/'persona' begins to develop in a way which includes these incorrect and false desires unconsciously. We may then further complicate matters by judging the desires as wrong for some reason, yet retain attachment to their fulfillment unconsciously or sub-consciously.
A common example is that of drugs - we may think that we need a particular drug to feel good and so we may decide we need to do things to get more of our chosen drugs in our life. We may then adapt our personality to accommodate the drug, such as by attempting to 'fit in' with groups of others who use the drugs or by changing our own personal boundaries to make the use of the drug more attractive or practical. Simultaneously, we might be also judging that our use of the drug and the drug itself is 'wrong' or 'bad' - yet continue to use the drug. This creates a huge internal conflict that may cause tension and stress, further firing the cycle to addiction that leads us to conclude that, yes, we really do need the drug - that we do, in fact, not really need at all to truly feel good.
Faulty thinking and false desires are one of the major roots of suffering
We may live entire lives or multiple lives with the mistaken belief that, for example, 'I need to be the best at something'. Let's take a closer look at this belief:
Q: "Why do I need to be the best at something?"
A: "To get noticed'
Q: "Why do i need to get noticed?"
A: "I've been hurt from being ignored and I don't want that to happen again."
So the desire to be the best is really just a desire for acceptance and the good feelings of balance that come with acceptance of self, but is there a better way to feel acceptance than by seeking it from others in life?
Powerful Realisations about Acceptance
Seeking to be labeled the 'best' at something still requires the acceptance and agreement of others, as without the agreement of 'others', you will just be talking to yourself, saying that you are the best or not the best!
There isn't really a benefit to 'being the best' in terms of stopping others ignoring you; You will be ignored anyway by those with intent to ignore you. So what is truly needed is Your own Self Acceptance, not the acceptance of other and really the problem all along has been that we ignore ourselves! We ignoring our power, we ignore aspects of our own truth, plus the causes of why we are as we are and why we experience what we experience.
As always, we return to the need for allowing a holistic oneness inside of us and the deeply felt unity that only total self acceptance will provide. Through our own realignment towards balance and our own choosing to create balance we are one step closer to healing our disconnections within us and are reaching closer to the parts that are hurting so that we can now sooth and nurse them back to health with our own loving heart and our own loving, compassionate acceptance.
Loving Yourself is NOT Wrong!
It is our own love for our own being that is most needed within us and what is most lacking in the majority of us, since we are taught from birth to assume that 'loving yourself' is a sign of 'having ego' and is 'wrong' - whereas the truth is that we ALL have ego or we would not exist as individual beings and that it is only imbalances in our ego that cause the problems, not the existence of ego itself. It is through self love that we can heal and balance our egos and so to think that self love is 'wrong' is an extremely harmful and limiting belief to be holding on to.
We need to heal our inside and the outside evolves in response; not the other way around.
Wishing you Well,
Ura Soul
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