I was moved to write this post today after reading a fellow steemians post @tarazkp, bout his lovely wife and daughter and the struggle they went through when she had to stop breastfeeding.
As a mother of six I like to think I have a little bit of knowledge to share on the subject.
BREASTFEEDING IS HARD!!!
IT IS NOT ALWAYS THE MOTHERS CHOICE TO STOP!!!
IT IS ALSO NO ONES BUSINESS IF YOU DO OR YOU DONT!!!
That being said, everyone always seems to have an opinion and apparently the need to share their opinion with you even when it’s not wanted.
I have experienced it all. With my first baby I took to feeding her like a duck to water. She had her first feed within 20 minutes of her birth and it was all smooth sailing....until she turned 8months old. Then it all went crazy. I could not keep up with what she needed, no amount of lactation cookies could help me.
Holding your child and listening to them cry because they are hungry and you can’t satisfy them makes you feel like a complete failure. On doctors orders I had to put her on formula. It was heartbreaking. Adding insult to injury were the horrible things people said to me when I would feed her in public.
One woman even had the nerve to tell me that perhaps if I had waited til I was older to have children I would have been more responsible and able to breastfeed instead. I might like to add that I was 22 when I had my daughter, not that my age should have any reflection on my parenting.
Then baby number 2 came along. Again, I found breastfeeding as easy as a walk in he park. Master 10 had some health issues when he was born and as such I was told the longer I could feed him the better, so I did. Again I was met with hostile comments and derogatory remarks, from friends and strangers alike. This time for not stopping breastfeeding sooner!
Master 10 has always been a big boy, he was nearly 10 pounds when he was born and by the age of 2 looked more like a 4 year old. When I feed him, even privately in mother’s rooms at the shops I was often met with stares and rude comments, often from other breastfeeding mothers. “He’s to old to breastfeed.” Or “can’t he just eat proper food”. I even had one mother hand me a jar of baby food. The pain this caused stayed with me, even to this day. No one should be shamed for feeding their child.
Then number 3! By this stage I had experienced it all. Shamed for not breastfeeding, shamed for breastfeeding past the accepted age (as if there is such a time). I had also decided that with Master 7 no one was going to shame me in any way. If he breastfed or had to have a bottle, I was going to stand up to anyone that felt the need to have an opinion.
That’s just what I did. The opportunity came around rather early on. He must have been maybe three weeks old when half way though my grocery shop he decided he was hungry! So with a trolly load of food and two toddlers in their trolly seats what was I meant to do. So I continued to shop while feeding him (he was in a baby sling and I was being discreet, not that it should matter).
Thats when I had a woman tap me on the shoulder and tell me that I shouldn’t be feeding my baby in the store, that I should leave. My response was polite and blunt. I simply said that according to Australian law I have the right to feed my baby where ever I like. But if I was making her that uncomfortable I would be happy for her to continue my shopping for me and look after my cranky toddlers while I went and sat quietly in private to feed my baby. Needless to say, she had no response and made a hasty exit.
That day marked a new beginning for me. I would call out any person that thought they had the right to comment on my breastfeeding. Smart remarks or unwanted advice was quickly met with a harsh does of reality. “Mind your own business”.
I have spent 10years and 8months breastfeeding my children. I was blessed to be able to do so. It was not an easy task all the time, I had my share of dramas. But each step of the way I did what was best for my babies. As does every mother.
It is about time people stopped and thought about how their words are going to impact someone else before they speak. It’s time people realised that a you can’t tell what someone is dealing with just with a glance. It is also time people learned that when it comes to breastfeeding or bottle feeding, the most important thing is that the child is being FED!!!
Thanks for reading.