As a former vegan, I really appreciate this post.
When I became vegan, I was coming at it from a biblical, Christian perspective. (This already placed me in a politically incorrect place among the vegan community, and I found their publications to be antagonistic to my wider worldview.) I believe that God originally created human beings in a garden, where they ate plants, living in harmony with the animals, and there was no death. I thought that I could return to this "perfect" way of eating and human-animal relationship. It worked for a couple years before I suffered from severe fatigue, tooth decay, slow hair and nail growth, and 40+ day menstrual cycles. I had to come to grips with the fact that my body was not a "perfect" Garden of Eden body and the plants I was consuming were not "perfect" Garden of Eden plants. Those plants couldn't give me everything I needed to be happy and healthy, and my body couldn't even absorb and use all of what they were giving me.
Since this realization, I have tried several different nutritional approaches, constantly refining the ones that work for me and discarding the ones that don't. The tradition-oriented approach of the Weston A. Price Foundation has had a significant impact on my own trial and error approach.
I also had to let go of some of my perfectionist and idealistic attitudes. Due to our income level, my husband and I can't always afford organic and/or humanely-raised food. I have accepted that this responsibility is not mine to shoulder. When I am purchasing the best food that is available to me and that I can afford, I am not culpable for every person's actions toward that food along the way. I do not control the price or selection. I do not feed, care for, or slaughter the animals I eat. I do not plant, chemically spray, or harvest fruits and vegetables. I am not in charge of legislature pertaining to agriculture and food production, and I am not a wealthy owner of a food company, raking in profits from outrageously-priced health food. I am content to do what I can, let go of what I can't, and allow others to make their own decisions without criticism. What I eat and who I am are separate. It took me quite some time to accept this, as I began conflating the two at the age of 14 when I decided to practically starve myself.
Anyway, bravo to you for encouraging dialogue about this highly-polarizing topic!
RE: Finding a space where vegans and meat eaters can agree to differ, and still be friends