Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

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Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it wasn't the human's reaction they had to worry about. The human MIGHT need to find another type of tea to help them sleep. -- DaniAndShali

[AN: For everyone who wants to read up on the effects of catnip on humans, Jess Wilmington has some information]

Every ship in the Alliance should have a Ships' Human. They just have a way of handling things. Be it their adaptability, their skill at improvisation, or sheer manic insanity of the species[1]... they can dive into the metaphorical cesspit and emerge with a diamond ring.

When the Ruserrv heard about this, they had to try it out for themselves. They found a Human JOAT[2] with the relevant skills and a desire to see more of the greater universe and thought they were set. It's a common mistake.

Humans always come with caveats. Every single Human has their own quirks, hangups, hobbies, and things they dearly love and want to share with the entire universe. In the case of Human Niil, hirs was medicinal botany. Nothing that had ever been illegal in Terran history[3], but at least one thing that would prove... problematic.

Human Niil had a very pleasant scent, first thing in the morning. The crew of the Gillsnagger felt very affectionate towards hir, especially over morning feast. The desire to share food had to be repeatedly discussed.

"I can't eat raw meat. We've been through this. My people have been cooking meat so long we've evolved out of being able to digest it."

Mirrp leaned against their Human and purred loudly. "You are looking thin," they insisted. "Too much lizard in your diet?"

"I have my calibrated Nutri-Food, thankyou. Please. Keep the rodent."

"Why do you smell so good?"

It remained a mystery until Niil had one of hir migraines whilst also on duty, and popped open a small container of homemade balm.

Instantly, all the surrounding crew wanted to lavish hir with public displays of affection. Unfortunately for Niil, this also included kneading at hir body and grooming hir with their rough tongues.

Companion Ikka zeroed in on the balm. "This... this is the entrancing smell. This is the friendly scent."

"This is my catnip migraine balm." Niil closed the container and earned renewed disinterest in half the assembled crowd. "Wait. You guys are all over me in the mornings because of my sleep aid! D'oh!"

"Pardon?" said Companion Ikka.

"I drink catnip tea as a sleep aid. I make it myself from the plants I grow. I can't take printed medicines and have to source them naturally and... oh boy. I'm going to have to go back to cocoa... and a different analgesic."

"Pardon?" purred Ikka. "We like your smell."

"Yeah that's 'cause I accidentally got you guys hooked on drugs."

[1] Humans are the only known cogniscent species to be ruled as wholly and completely insane. This is not necessarily a bad thing. A little madness can be beneficial.

[2] Jack, Jill, or Jharren Of All Trades. Often better than a master of one.

[3] Colonial history is another matter entirely. Every plant has been banned if you take all of them into account.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / nahhan]

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