A Deregger escapee has an unusual quirk that makes them, of all things, immune to the immunoflu. Unfortunately, that means they're apt to contract the illnesses the immunoflu is meant to prevent, and catches a cold. -- Anon Guest
They told Pel he was lucky to survive. Once they discovered his truly peculiar genetic abnormality, those tellings doubled. The immunoflu was one of Humanity's Greatest Hits[1], since humanity could not contain or cure the common cold, they tamed it. Using the popular virus to deliver vaccines by natural contamination. Being immune to that was something worthy of intense study.
It was also a pain in the butt because Pel had to get his vaccines the old-fashioned way. Which meant that the pain in his anatomy was sometimes literal. Given that the Alliance Mediks were also taking samples, he sometimes felt like his job title should be "cogniscent pincushion". And then something got past all the preventative measures to keep him safe from unscheduled disease.
When it comes to "Kill or Cure," the Human body has got this. Pel went down fast, despite the Medik's best efforts. While half of them tried to isolate the vector and seal the hole in security, the other half were working their tails off to help Pel weather the infection currently threatening his life.
"...'s just a stoopid cold," whined Pel. "Y' don' need to make this fuss."
"Your temperature is redlining, you have a mucous buildup in your bronchi that is threatening your ability to breathe at all. If it wasn't for the nanites cleaning them out, you would already be at one quarter of your lung capacity, or less. You have bacteria lining up for tickets to prime real estate in your body and we're just racing to keep up." Nurse Veisalgia prepped his instruments for the next course of treatment. "You only feel this good because of all those meds in your drip. Which need to be upgraded. You're welcome."
"Nanna used to give me chicken soup and tell me to read in bed."
"If it'll keep you nailed down, I will," Veisalgia threatened. "And I'm a bad cook."
"Don't you have food printers?"
"I have studies that prove hand-made soup is best for recovering patients. Something about sympathetic magic and the placebo effect plus the Human influence on Narrativium[2]... I don't even know by now. But it works so we just go with it."
"Someone else could do the cooking? I mean, there's a team of you working on me... there's like twenty of you."
"Twenty-three. Some of us are identical twins."
"Ooooh, that explains the time I thought I was hallucinating. Nobody else brought it up, so I... didn't mention it either."
Nurse Veisalgia stopped what he was doing and glared hot molten death at Pel. "We tell you," he said in ominous tones, "to report. EVERYTHING. We mean... everything. We have to start again from day one! FLAKKIT!"
"There's no need to fuss, it's just a cold."
"Ihaveahyppocraticoath," Veisalgia muttered. "Ihaveahypocraticoath..."
[1] Second only to the dog or, perhaps, the Skitty - Ships'/Stations' Kitty. As pest control, companions, assistant animals, and living decoration.
[2] GNU Sir Terry Pratchett, but also an example of how some things just happen to happen along narrative lines. Science is still trying to work this out, but the element of Narrativium has yet to be isolated. If it exists at all.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / krishnacreation]
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