time to get spooky -- Anon Guest
[AN: Video linked is some very clever stop animation and I do NOT believe those are actual organic pumpkins. That would be WAY too involved for a piece of art that took months to make. Double cleverness is inventing Halloween lyrics to fit in with Hall of the Mountain King]
Human creativity knew no bounds. One of their favourites was creating the impossible. Inanimate vegetable matter should not have expressions. Once carved to have expressions, it should not move and speak. Humans make it happen anyway. One way or another.
This first example was motion made using a series of still images. The oxymoronic technique called stop motion. Persistence of vision was just one trick. They could use latex, mechanisms, and sundry waldoes to make it appear like vegetation was moving. They made it look plausible, which was always disturbing in a multitude of ways.
And yet, not nearly as disturbing as this particular example of gengineering. A team of scientists sat down and thought this through as an intellectual exercise and then someone went on a manic creative spree and now... now a plant was bumbling around an enclosure. It grew lianas very quickly, pulling its central body towards food sources or water. The beaming team leader said, "I know you might have questions..."
"Starting with 'why the hell did you think this was a good idea'? Yes. I have lots of them."
"Well, it started with discussions on triffids and crinoids, which are actual plants, but nonmobile ones. And then we tried to think how a plant would evolve like that... and you know - there are potentially arable areas where the nutrients are not uniformly mingled with the rest of the soil. If a plant could seek its own nutrients..."
"So you came up with a motile crop. Will it object if you harvest the fruiting body? Is it intelligent?" Translated, There are two main ways we could be in deep trouble. Have you covered all our butts?
"Well... here's the weird thing. Plants care about distributing their seeds, so they're into being harvested. Second, we've tried communication and... so far it's at pet levels of intelligence."
So it could be foiled by a simple slide bolt locking its food storage. The executive in charge massaged an impending headache. "All right. What does it grow?"
The team chorused. "BEANS!"
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / miromiro]
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