Challenge #02709-G152: Fixes Any Problem

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A: "Just how many things do you humans make out of that stuff?"
H: Pulling yet another roll of the silvery duct tape from his bag. "Oh, quite a fair few. Wallets, flowers, clothing, water bags, plates, bowls, shoes, weapons, you name it. Oop, hold the bow still, if we're going to get back to the space port, I need to finish this boat and then make the thing's sail."
A: "You can't be serious, we're really going to be going all the way back to the port in nothing but... duct tape??"
H: "Sure! And we could even take the boat with us to use for later sails if we wanted to!"

Note - yes Sail boats have been made, beautifully so, out of duct tape. Here's a video of my favorite team doing so, the Mythbusters! -- Anon Guest

"Well, ductape and these lovely whippy canes," said Human Jan. "Hold this one here for a sec'." Since Human Jan had already employed both hands, both feet, and one knee to the extant construction, Frew had to assist.

What the Human held easily, Frew had to struggle with, using all of his strength. However, that strength lasted just long enough for Human Jan to quickly apply some more ductape to the resultant joint. It was the last join in the entire seemingly fragile frame, which looked like it was one good sneeze away from turning into a cage-turned-torture-device for Human Jan. Nevertheless, the ductape held. "This will remain stable?"

"Abso-tively. I've seen this done before. Heck. San Francisco has an annual ductape regata. It's a heck of a thing to watch. Someone made a yellow ductape ducky, last year. That was hilarious."

"You are not building a duck," said Frew. Just to be certain. You never could tell with Humans.

"Nah, just a little dinghy. It's not that far to the port, so... We have some plank-like objects I can turn into oars, no worries. We'll certainly be back in civilisation before tomorrow for sure."

"Tomorrow?"

"Allowing for the flakk-up factor, yeah. I already built a lean-to, just in case." Human Jan tipped her head at the collection of woven sticks, grass, and leaves that could plausibly be a shelter if the observer happened to squint. "We should be okay. I'm doing my best over here."

Frew had yet to go within five paces of the structure. "That does not look to be resilient against the local weather phenomena."

"Okay," sighed Human Jan, still working. "One: it's not cyclone season. Two: the weather bureau says gentle rains in five days, minimum. Three: the worst you have to worry about at the moment is the mosquitoes. They'll stay out of that thing because it's made of leaves that smell horrible to them."

Frew did not have the heart to tell Human Jan that the leaves smelled horrible to him, too. "And it will be safe?"

"Abso-tively posi-lutely. I did my homework before I became your guide. This is all good stuff." The frame complete, Human Jan turned the entire thing upside down and suspended it on a series of supports. Now her work involved weaving the ductape over the underside of the frame.

Frew watched. Human Jan had already used some ductape around her fingertips as she worked, and maintained a pattern. Sticky-side out, sticky-side in. Overlapping all the time. It was a terrifyingly small vessel for the journey that Human Jan was evidently planning. It didn't seem ready for the slings and arrows of the journey that wrecked their initial skiff.

"I know," said Human Jan, seemingly reading his mind. "It seems like it's way more fragile than the other boat. This one's going to bounce. It's like... Glass plate versus trampoline. The glass can protect once, but it shatters. A trampoline reflects it back." Now she was making chevrons from the back to the front. Overlapping. The way it overlapped would ease the boat's forward progress past any submarine obstacles.

Theoretically.

Frew could think of five things completely wrong with the trampoline theory.

Nevertheless, hours later, Human Jan pronounced her work ready, replete with oars. On the plus side, it did float and did not attempt to capsize. It did not sink even when Human Jan hauled herself inside to row them towards their point of origin.

On the plus side, the sunsets from the ocean were beautiful. Further to their mutual benefit, the boat made it all the way back in plenty of time, especially since one of the locals found them and gave them a tow.

The most disturbing thing was the locals' reactions to the ductape boat. They were intensely amused.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / SNR]

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