A: “How dare you?!”
B: “Excuse me?”
A: “How dare you walk up to me like this?”
B: “Uh… How am I supposed to walk up to you?”
A: “I won’t tolerate this microaggression. You’re lucky I’m not reporting you to the gender equality office!”
B: “But I just wanted to introduce myself to you!”
A: “I didn’t give you my consent!”
B: “How am I supposed to ask for your consent if I’m not allowed to walk up to you?”
A: “SHUT UP! Don’t mansplain me! Women have suffered long enough under the tyranny of guys like you!”
B: “Tyranny? But I don’t have power over anyone! You’re the one who is tyrannizing me at the moment!”
A: “That’s it! One more smartass remark like that and I’m calling the Office!”
B: “Let me ask you this: if men are not allowed to introduce themselves to you, how are you planning to ever find a partner?”
A: “How dare you assume I want a partner, especially a filthy man at that!”
B: “Well… You don’t give me a lesbian vibe, and you also kind of made eye contact several times with me before I came over…”
A: “Wha.. How… Are you fucking kidding me? HOW DARE YOU! YOU BIGOTED ASSHOLE! YOU ALT RIGHT NAZI! HOW DARE YOU ASSUME MY SEXUALITY?”
B: “Calm down, I’m just saying it seemed like you were flirting with me.”
A: “ME? FLIRTING WITH A DISGUSTING CIS WHITE MALE? Don’t make me laugh, you pathetic loser.”
B: “All right, well have fun dying alone.”
A: takes out her phone
A: “Hello? Equality office? This man in the bar I’m in just sexually assaulted me! Yes, he had the gull to talk to me and I don’t even know him! Yes, he was tall, around 1.80 meters, yes, of course it was a CIS white male. Yes. Brown hair. Very impolite, very mansplain-y. I think you’ll find him around the bars in the area, trying to rape women. Yes. I’m in “Utera”. Yes, the one in Sarkeesian street. Thank you. Goodbye.”