RE: RE: Sorcery Teaser
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RE: Sorcery Teaser

RE: Sorcery Teaser

I enjoyed this! I think that if this is a deleted scene from a novel it might be a very interesting story indeed. I really enjoy how, like with your bard, you go into the politics of education ;p

If I could identify one spot for polishing, the fifth paragraph, you have four characters in that paragraph, and more than a dozen pronouns (Although the she-s are obvious). I'm sure as part of the larger story we know who Alan is, but right now he is an artifact of this paragraph.

Consider expanding 'he had' here:

at which time he'd revealed his true nature

While correct, the more common reading of he'd is he would, which makes this part easy to stumble over.

Add a 'to' here

and then to a sort of void.

I may have just given too many suggestions since you asked for them in your python guide but I am much too simple to offer you any programming advise - copyediting I can do!

Keep writing, I will keep reading! I am enjoying your fantasy world interpretations!

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